CHAPTER 4 – BROKEN AND BURIED

Kurt’s eyes popped open, startled out of a sound sleep. The teal satin sheets were damp and lay in a state of disarray around him. Shivering, he used a single hand to drag them back up over his uncomfortably cold body. His frightened eyes flitted around the room like a kaleidoscope of butterflies attempting to light on something familiar, safe.

He was in San Diego. In their bedroom. He released a shaky sigh. The room was encaptured with some of his favorite images of Javi, his own personal gallery. He fervently wished that Javi was here, not in LA, not anywhere else but within reach of the arms that clutched Javi’s pillow.

Rolling onto his back, he blinked a few times, not at all ready to close them on another curtain of sleep. Sleep? After that….dream? Again, THE DREAM….that’s how it appeared on the blackboard in his mind, in all caps. It might dissolve into nonexistence for a few weeks – sometimes even a month would go by – but it always reappeared like a homing pigeon anxious to deliver yet another confusing or frightening message to disturb Kurt’s slumber.

Sometimes it was like watching a movie he’d seen before – the same bedroom, the shattered glass picture frame housing his friends in the Glee Club, Antonio yelling some variation of “Everything’s changed!” And sometimes it was like watching the same movie….except it was in the process of being edited with possible additions to the story, rarely coherent or logical. Fuzzy, vague…undefined details…It was getting so tiresome! But as tiresome as it might be, tiresome was always cancelled out by fear. At least he didn’t wake up in tears anymore….well, almost never.

Reaching for his phone laying on the night stand, tapping the lamp on to dim, he caught a glimpse of one of his favorite photos of Javi.

His lover was forever telling Kurt that he had that “it” factor. That indefinable something that drew people to him like a magnet. And it wasn’t just about looks like most people thought. “It” was about empathy, having good listening skills, eye contact, self-confidence and on and on. Kurt would laugh, and often blush, completely unable to see any of those qualities in himself. But when he looked at his Javito? It was like someone tilting a mirror in front of Kurt capturing all of those qualities in the person reflected there. The caramel-colored skin, the full lips, the deep brown eyes filled with wisdom, always seeming to have time to turn his full attention to Kurt…..

His phone informed him that it was too early to take on the day ahead, but on the bright side it was warm enough to sit outside. He wished his multifunctional phone could tell him how to divest himself of THE DREAM! Why wasn’t there an app for that?

He hesitated. To call or not to call…he could hear Javi’s deep voice scolding him for hesitating at all. He’d probably still be awake. An after performance high was part and parcel of the performance itself always begging you to come back for another long sip of adrenaline. If he was in LA chances were he’d either be shaking his head while watching Javi consume enough calories to fuel his body for a whole week…or they’d be satisfying the flip side of hungry. Which was one of reasons he was hesitating.

Still unnerved and a little disoriented, he wasn’t really in the mood for phone sex…and if he called instead of texting, Javi would assume that that was why he was calling and if it wasn’t? He didn’t have to be a genius to know something was up. He’d hear it in his voice…and so what? His mind spoke, irritated. It’s not like Javi didn’t know about THE DREAM. It wasn’t like they hadn’t been dealing with it for almost as long as they’d known each other. He knew it worried Javi, but….call him, damn it!

Turning off the shower, Javi wrung out his shocking pink hair, stepping onto the water absorbent bath mat. He could hear Kurt voicing his longing for his shiny black curls and in truth he was growing a little tired of the pink hair himself, but as long as his part as Lust existed pink hair it would have to be.

He’d grown to love his role in the play. He’d taken to acting as if it had been lying quietly dormant, preparing him for over thirty years, nurturing that seed until the call of destiny beckoned. However, he was secretly glad they’d cut back the performances to alternating three nights one week and four nights the next. With a bit of rest in between shows he believed he was actually a better performer. But still….it took at least two or so hours to come down off that high and when his phone rang, he wasn’t really surprised to see it was Kurt….but he was sort of surprised that he hadn’t texted first to make sure Javi was awake. Oh, well, maybe he was in the mood for some long-distance play….offering to quench that hunger that had nothing to do with food and everything to do with alleviating the aphrodisiac that immersing oneself in a role and the accolades that came with it could be. Acting was exhibitionism at its best!

Sprawling damp and naked onto the bed, he palmed the phone. “Hey there, Buffy!” he said cheerfully, referring to a nickname he’d given Kurt in the past when describing him as his nude maid. “Hey lovebug,” Kurt said in what sounded like a tired and wavering voice. “What? No alliterative nickname, like Sexy Mexy?” “Well, you are all of that, but….” Kurt finally just decided to say it. “I just woke up…” Pushing all thoughts of play aside, Javi said, “The dream again, right?”

He knew that guarded tone, sometimes frustrated, sometimes weary, and he hated it! He could do nothing but sit on the sidelines. “Any new details?” he managed. “Not really…or at least none that I can recall,” Kurt said not sure if he would really want to recall them even if he could. “Javito, I’ve been putting this off for too long. I know I should really talk this over with Blaine. I keep hoping it will all just go away….but it’s not…and it won’t,” There was that edge in his voice again, “That room…..he’s…well actually they….are living in that place with….that room!”

It was true! They’d been putting this off for a long time, neither of them wanting to upset Blaine unnecessarily. Neither had actually asked Blaine about the dream recently, but he and Javi saw each other almost every day at the theater. It wasn’t like it would be a new topic of discussion for either of them. Maybe in their wish for it to just disappear, he and Kurt had unconsciously (or maybe intentionally?) assumed that Blaine would say something if…..if what?

What if he was no longer having the dream? Or even if he was….well, why wasn’t he recognizing that room in his dream? They could go round and round about this, usually ending with it’s a dream! When were dreams supposed to make sense? Kurt was right. Apparently, the dream had no intention of taking a vacation or moving in with a more accommodating host.

“Kurt….I know we’ve been hoping this would all just go away….but I can hear it in your voice. You’re reaching the end of your rope. And much as I hate to say it, you’re absolutely right. It’s time….to talk to Blaine I mean. Maybe three heads…or four if we include Jeff…are better than just our two. Maybe it’s time to just lay it all out and see what happens. I mean the worst that can happen is that we’ll all have more information, right?”

“Well, yeah I guess,” Kurt mumbled, even though the suggestion had been his to begin with. He didn’t want to be but he was still on the fence about how close he wanted to get to Blaine. It wasn’t that he believed Blaine could really harm him again. They weren’t romantically involved anymore. Yet, despite all that had come between them, he sometimes missed their friendship. He wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t like he didn’t have lots of friends….oh! what did it matter! Like it or not, apparently Blaine was just as much at the center of this dilemma as he and Javi were and even if they didn’t come up with a solution, Javi was right, more information certainly couldn’t make things worse.

Maybe if he went back over all of the reasons his counselor had given him as to why a person might have repetitive dreams something would jump out at him. That certainly couldn’t hurt either. It had definitely helped when they’d discussed sex dreams. Sex dreams that did not include Javi, but often included Blaine. Kurt remembered how he had hesitated to tell Javi about those dreams. Because he didn’t understand why they were occurring he’d been afraid Javi would be upset if he knew, but instead that discussion had led to a decision that had solidified their love even more. Maybe they could try to build a fantasy around this craziness? But what kind of fantasy could be built around this….whatever it was! The whole thing seemed like it should already be in the realm of fantasy!

“You’ll be back sometime tomorrow?” Javi asked. Sometimes Kurt would get caught up in his lesson preparations and not return to LA until Friday. “Yeah, classes went really well this week and besides I don’t like sleeping alone.” Javi smiled to himself and joked, “Sleep alone? When you’re here and not in San Diego you know neither of us sleep much anyway. You’re such a distraction. However, you could always invite one of the neighbors over. After all, they are women, so I feel pretty confident that I wouldn’t have any competitors.” “Oh yeah? Well how do you know that that isn’t one of my secret fantasies that I just haven’t told you about yet?” Kurt’s tension started to disappear as Javi’s humor drew his attention away from the dream. “Good point! But after the last one you described to me, I’m not sure anything would surprise me, Kurtito! Maybe we could combine those fantasies?” Kurt laughed. That thought had never occurred to him. “Look, I know you’re probably exhausted so get some sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow, mi Javito.” “I’ll keep the bed warm and the light on….I love you, Buffy. I’ll even help you make the bed…after we’re done unmaking it, of course.” Even though Kurt often squawked about some of the nicknames Javi came up with, inside he loved every one of them. “And I love you, mi sexy Mexy.”

Kurt disconnected, turned on his side and tried to get comfortable again. After tonight’s version of THE DREAM he really was becoming more concerned about Blaine and Jeff living in that apartment. Before they’d hung up Javi had promised to bring it up to Blaine the next evening at the play house. Just to ask him if they had time to talk about something important sharing as little as possible surrounding the details. He wanted to be there when they had an actual discussion about this. After staring at the wall for what seemed like hours, Kurt finally fell back asleep, hoping his dreams would include more of Javi and less of his long-dead partner Tonio.

“Have you seen Blaine?” Javi enquired of Michael. The two had become fast friends over their mutual interest in dance. “Mmmm…..I think he’s in dressing room 10, maybe?” “Thanks! Ready for another night on the boards?” he asked but headed for the dressing rooms before Michael could answer.

The door was wide open, but Javi knocked on the door frame anyway. Dropping his worn gym bag, for the first time in awhile he really looked at Blaine.

Going through his dance moves, spinning from one foot to the other, he looked tired, but for the most part almost everyone in the play looked extra weary at one time or another. “Hey, Blaine, you don’t think you have those moves down to a science by now?” he snickered, trying to ease into a conversation. “Yeah, but a little practice never hurt anyone,” Blaine replied appearing sort of distracted like his mind wasn’t anywhere near the theater. “You okay?” Javi asked. He was no expert on Blaine Anderson by any means, but he didn’t seem like the upbeat person he thought he knew.

“Yeah, sure, of course I’m okay,” he murmured half-heartedly. He cleared his throat and raised his voice a little, “Um…..just having some trouble with sleep lately and you know how hectic our lives are….Jeff’s sister is coming to visit in a couple weeks and he’s working extra hours now so he can get a few days off to spend with her. And we’ve been working on the spare bedroom getting it ready for her. Just life happening at warp speed…”

“Oh! So what are you doing in the spare bedroom?” Javi was immediately on alert. Did they have more than one? He couldn’t remember Kurt’s description of their apartment.

“Just painting, putting up stuff on the walls…trying to make it homey I guess. It’s going slower than expected but it’ll be done when she gets here.” That was a flat-out lie, but he didn’t want to get into a long explanation about what was really going on in that room. Especially since he was far from sure himself. In truth, the only time they’d returned to the work in progress was the day they’d entered the room together. Neither was willing to allow the other to enter it alone. After cautiously unlocking the door, one grabbed the paint can and brushes and the other made sure the lone window was closed, the lock secured, leaving the picture with its shattered frame on the bed. Neither he nor Jeff wanted to admit it, but they were afraid to remove it from the room. Like whatever was…..haunting? it would follow the picture wherever they took it.

“Well, maybe you two need a night out. Away from jobs and housekeeping. How would you feel about the four of us getting together soon? Kurt’ll be back tonight and will be in town until next Tuesday. Does Jeff have any time off in the near future?” Blaine looked at Javi quizzically. The four of them had never deliberately planned to get together, except for when Kurt and Jeff had come for the opening night of Reinventing Your Sins. He mentally scanned their calendar stopping on Sunday night. He knew Jeff had that night off. He even had Sunday afternoon off for that matter.

“Jeff’s off this Sunday, but I’d have to check with him to be sure that’s okay. With a little more enthusiasm, Blaine said, “Yeah, that might be kinda nice actually, but…”

Javi wasn’t one to beat around the bush and it seemed rather silly to keep Blaine in the dark about why, which was the question he knew he had meant to ask. “Look, I know this seems weird since the four of us don’t socialize much, but…..” oh what the hell! “Kurt is still having problems with that dream, it’s not going away and it certainly isn’t getting any better. We thought it would be a good idea to talk about it and, I don’t know….you don’t have to tell me but are you still having it, too?” Oh my god!!! If he only knew! If he only knew that the dream had literally taken on some sort of life of its own and seemed to have morphed into an even creepier sort of reality!

Be calm, his brain whispered, just answer the question, “Uhhh….yeah, actually I am still having it.” And yes I’d love to talk to you guys about it! That’s what he wanted to say. But he was uncertain if that would be Jeff’s response. Obviously, he and Jeff weren’t getting very far with trying to deal with it alone though. Blaine actually felt a sense of relief at Javi’s suggestion. “Is it keeping you awake?” Javi asked. “I mean….like a nightmare….like before?” Nightmare didn’t even begin to describe it!

“Sometimes, I guess…” you guess???? “Well, if you don’t mind checking with Jeff….could we get together and discuss it? If you’ve told Jeff, that is. I know sometimes Kurt doesn’t like to talk to me about it because he knows I’ll fret, as he puts it.” Javi sort of smiled at that, how many 20-somethings used the word fret? Blaine thought Jeff would probably be as relieved as he was. Sharing it with someone might actually help and he doubted it could hurt.

From there the conversation branched out to the play, always a source of interesting tidbits and gossip…..or wondering if or when the play would end in LA and move on. Exchanging anecdotes or advice regarding the ever-present balancing act of loving their work and maintaining the stamina it took to continue.

Javi’s phone vibrated, letting him know it was time to get in costume. “Time to punch the time clock,” he joked. “Yeah, our fawning fans await! Listen, I’ll talk to Jeff and get back to you, okay?”

Jeff’s head rested on Blaine’s lap as Blaine lovingly stroked one of Jeff’s arms, “But Blaine I thought you said you wanted to deal with this on our own. Are you sure you really want to bring Kurt and Javi into the mix? We might end up more confused than ever!” Jeff said in a concerned voice. He didn’t know why he had reservations about it, not really. The three of them were always in the dream, not always in the same roles, but always there together.

And Blaine had already talked it over with Javi and Kurt at one time or another. He knew that part of it was that uneasy feeling he still sometimes had about Kurt, even though Blaine’s reasoning about why he might feel that way made perfect sense. He let Blaine interrupt his thoughts with, “Yes, I did say that, but we don’t seem to be doing very well dealing with it ourselves. Keeping the door shut and trying to ignore it really isn’t dealing with it, is it? And Jersey is going to be here soon.”

“But we could always have her sleep in the other bedroom,” Jeff hedged, turning his head so he could look up at Blaine’s face. “Yeah, we could do that…and considering the situation we probably will, but that still won’t solve the problem. We’d still be ignoring the room, avoiding the problem…and then with Jersey here there’d be one more person to worry about living here with….it.”

And that was the gist of everything. They didn’t know what “it” was much less how to deal with it. It was time they faced it squarely. Jeff had quietly checked out organizations that supposedly “helped” with paranormal activity and felt like a complete moron doing it. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe in the supernatural or a realm beyond what he could see, but that was easy to say when contact with it had never happened to you. Until it did, for the most part no one thought about it much or at least he didn’t. But now that it had he felt like his world had flipped sideways, like if he told anyone they’d think he’d lost his mind or insist he was imagining it. How he wished he was!

He knew Blaine was right and, taking one of his hands, he reluctantly told him so. “Lunch on Sunday? 11 at Circle 9?” Blaine quickly texted Javi before Jeff could change his mind. The return text was almost instantaneous, a firm yes followed by, “See you then.”

Javi had definitely been right about one thing. He and Jeff needed some time away from the apartment and work, despite the reason for their meeting. Their lives seemed to be consumed by their respective careers and they had little time for socializing.

Blaine had hidden his concern that sitting across the table from both Kurt and Javi to have any discussion would be awkward. And Jeff directed his attention exclusively to Blaine, avoiding eye contact with Kurt. But they needn’t have worried. As it turned out, all of them were too focused on the topic at hand to notice or feel any uneasiness. Even Jeff didn’t feel as unsettled around Kurt as he thought he might. Maybe that pillow-talk discussion earlier in the month had really helped and all he needed to do was test its validity face to face.

Wanting to get down to the business at hand, they all chose to have the brunch buffet.

Taking a quick look around the table, Kurt decided to take the lead; someone had to, he thought. Swallowing a sip of Diet Coke, he announced, “So, we all know why we’re here,” like they had to have a particular reason to meet…and at least at this stage, they did. Not even trying to avoid those laser-beam eyes, Blaine glanced at Kurt in silent agreement.

“We’ve already talked about this separately at some point. We all know the main characters, right? Or…am I making an assumption?” realizing that maybe something new had been added since he and Blaine had last talked. “I think so,” Blaine said, “but just to be sure….it’s me, you, Javi and….his name again?” Javi answered, “Antonio….I called him…um…Tonio.” After all these years it still seemed difficult to talk about him sometimes. “Sometimes it’s all four of us, sometimes it’s only three of us, but in my dream you and I are always there, Kurt, and it either takes place in a bedroom or hotel room….and a few times I’ve been at an airport, don’t know which one though.”

Kurt nodded slowly as if in deep thought, “Same here…except I’ve never dreamt about an airport.” Still unsure of how to broach the subject without alarming Blaine and Jeff, he asked, “So, what does the room look like?” Blaine shifted his eyes towards Jeff, “It’s just a…bedroom. There’s a bed, sometimes a window, a night stand, I don’t know. Nothing very specific….” Kurt nodded and looked over at Javi, who gave him what he hoped was an encouraging nod.

“Blaine, do you remember the night you showed me around your apartment?” “Sure!” Blaine replied, remembering Kurt’s rather strange behavior. “Well…..how do I say this. It sounds ridiculous…but not any more ridiculous than this dream business. Anyway, I’m positive one of your spare bedrooms is the room in my dream. I don’t know any other way to put it.” “Which one?” Blaine asked, every nerve ending jumping to attention.

Kurt could describe that room down to the last detail, but he barely got out, “The one with the picture of the Glee Club on the nightstand. The one where you asked me for advice on a color scheme.” He didn’t add “the one that scares the hell out of me!”

Blaine’s shoulders slumped as Jeff turned to look at him again, his face completely unable to hide his alarm, automatically reaching for Blaine’s hand. Kurt sat back into the booth as if pinned by the shock in their responses. Javi’s eyes went from face to face, hoping he sounded like the voice of reason when he said, “Okay, it’s obvious we have a real problem here and we have to find a solution.”

The conversation continued as they attempted to eat at least some of their by now lukewarm meals. They had to eat something if for no other reason than they’d need the nourishment to take their next step. And now here they were…..at the next step. None of them was sure it was the right step though. Especially Jeff and Blaine. What good could it possibly do? But on the other hand, after discussing it to death, they still felt as if they had no good options. Jeff had revealed his internet search….and there was supposed to be help out there, but all of them still felt silly consulting an outside source, even one that would believe them. Maybe later? Yeah, maybe, they agreed putting it on the backburner.

“I feel like I should knock or something,” Kurt cracked trying to relieve the tension and they all laughed….sort of. Javi took the key from Kurt’s fingers and said, “Let me do it. I know this sounds out there…and obviously I’m not as sensitive to these things as you and Blaine might be…but if it’s Tonio,” he stopped knowing how absurd it sounded. Acknowledging that you actually understood something you couldn’t see didn’t fit well in this world. He started again, “If it’s him, maybe I’ll sense something you guys haven’t.” He’d almost forgotten that even Jeff had sensed something and he wasn’t even involved in the dreams.

He unlocked the door, entering boldly, as if confronting Tonio, ready to engage in combat. That he might be able to deal with! He had lots of practice with walking directly into the Sun, Tonio’s nickname, in full armor, sword drawn.

He didn’t say anything though. He slowly walked around the half-painted room noting everything Kurt, Blaine and Jeff had described. The room was chilly, but then it had been locked up for a long time. There was still the faint tangy odor of fresh paint. He tried using all of his senses as he’d learned to do. It had become almost second nature. He didn’t hear anything and there really wasn’t anything to taste. His eyes caught a twinkle from the broken picture frame and he felt an uneasiness when looking at those smiling faces beneath the shards of glass. He tentatively touched the crystal frame. His stomach flipped and he felt a wave of nausea. Withdrawing his finger, he stood in the middle of the room once more, and softly but firmly whispered, “Tonio?” and felt silly as he waited for some sort of response. Nothing…absolutely nothing.

He left the room and shook his head as if to say, “Nada,” but finding his voice he said, “The frame….it made me sick…um…nauseous when I touched it. And it’s freezing in there!” No one spoke. It was as if this were some sort of sacred (or unholy??) moment that would be destroyed if anyone spoke. Looking at Kurt, he nodded again, in silent agreement. The agreement they’d made before opening that door. Javi broke the silence asking Kurt in a low voice, “Do you want me to go with you?”

Kurt wanted to beg him to come with him while at the same time wanting to back away, bolt the door and leave it that way forever. But he could do neither. There was no going back now. He’d made Blaine aware of this predicament because he’d had no real choice.

Kurt swallowed hard and took a deep breath, “No. Not this time anyway.” God please don’t let there be another time! He saw the question marks in Javi’s eyes and squeezed his cool hand to reassure him. “Just stay here; I’ll be okay.”

He wasn’t as bold as Javi had been. No matter what his dreams told him he didn’t want to believe that the ghost of Javi’s deceased lover was hanging around. He didn’t want to believe anybody’s ghost was hanging around. He much preferred believing such things in the abstract and not as a reality. Like Javi, he inspected the room as closely as he could while trying to bravely bury his fears. He didn’t say anything. He could feel the heaviness in the air almost immediately. There was a sense of gravity pulling him downward, as if he should know why. Like it should be obvious to him….but it wasn’t. He didn’t know why and nothing, nothing! was obvious. I like the color, he thought, and then rolled his eyes and laughed at himself. Here he was in the midst of a petrifying situation and he was noticing the decore? Well, he had suggested celery as a possible color choice and Blaine had picked a nice shade, okay?

He approached the double bed knowing what he was supposed to find…and he hadn’t seen it anywhere else in the room. The Glee Club now crookedly framed in broken crystal lay exactly where Blaine had last seen it….where Jeff had been so startled by it that he ran from the room…where Javi had found it and said it gave him a queasy feeling when he’d touched it. But Kurt wasn’t startled. It was the same picture that had been sitting on the night stand the evening Blaine had shown him around, but that night the entire room and everything in it had startled him. And reluctantly touching it he felt nothing…not queasy, not frightened. It was a beautiful frame, even cracked, and he cherished that picture himself….but the frame could be replaced. The picture was still intact.

Yet this was the one thing in the room that seemed to affect everyone but him. After hearing Blaine’s story about it crashing to the floor causing him to flee from the room….and then Jeff’s story about finding it back on the bed instead of on the floor causing him to flee from the room, too…..maybe he should take it, but take it where? Javi hadn’t exactly been comfortable around it, but maybe if he severed its attachment to the room it would give them a clue. If nothing else, maybe it would stop whatever or whomever? was happening in here until after Jersey’s visit. The word ridiculous kept repeating itself but he knew that was his rational, analytical side talking. The side that liked nothing out of order and everything to make sense.

Before he could second guess himself again, he quickly, but gingerly, picked up the broken frame, the few shards of glass and the picture, being careful not to cut himself. Placing it on a piece of drop cloth, he scurried from the room. He slammed the door behind him, confronted by three pairs of wide-open eyes staring back at him.

“What are you doing, Kurt?” Javi demanded. He rarely raised his voice to Kurt, but Kurt could see he wasn’t pleased with this development. “I want to get this out of here. For whatever reason, it has no affect on me whatsoever.” “But it did on me,” Javi said, his voice tight. “Where do you propose we take it?” Kurt had to think fast before anyone changed his mind and made him take it back in there. He’d had no adverse reaction to the picture, but that room had felt like a pressure chamber to him….stuffy and overheated! “How about our storage locker? Just until we get this mess figured out. I don’t want this thing anywhere near Blaine and Jeff….or his sister. If it’s in storage, who can it….” he almost said hurt, but then mentally changed it to, “bother. We rarely go there and these two aren’t going to be going there, either.”

Blaine was dumbfounded. This was turning into something more far-reaching than he’d ever expected, but he had to admit he’d feel more comfortable with that busted mess out of their apartment. Overwhelmed, Jeff watched Blaine’s face wondering what he was thinking, but he too had no problem with it being walked out the front door. If it were up to him he’d throw it away, but he knew how much Blaine treasured that photo. And not just the photo itself. It would be easy enough for them to reproduce the picture. Everyone in Glee Club probably had a copy, but it had been given to Blaine by Finn and his handwriting was on the back….and Finn was gone as in forever gone. He didn’t want to take that from Blaine if it wasn’t necessary.

Kurt could tell that Javi wasn’t exactly thrilled with the storage locker idea either, but what better place? It would be safe there in locked storage until, hopefully, someday soon they could retrieve it, reframe it and return it to Blaine. “Kurt, what makes you think it would be safer in storage than anywhere else? Sure, it’ll be out of here and, God forbid, won’t be at our place…either of them….” he firmly reiterated, reminding Kurt of his displeasure. But Kurt interrupted, “I don’t know! I don’t! But we have to do something with it!” Javi took a deep breath, trying to compose himself. “Why can’t we just throw it away and give Blaine another copy?”

What? Javi thought….It was as if a vacuum had sucked every molecule of air from the hallway. Wasn’t it just simple common sense? Javi raised his shoulders and hands indicating his confusion at their reaction. If possible, there was an even more horrified look on each of their faces. Kurt cautiously turned the photo over, and without actually handing it to Javi, showed him the inscription on the back. Finn…..it had been given to Blaine by Finn….someone they all revered and who’d of course taken on an even larger persona in death. “Blaine….I’m sorry….I didn’t….know…”

“It’s okay, I know you didn’t…and you have a point. How do we know it’ll be “safe,” he put in air quotes, “anywhere…or for that matter that we’ll be safe from…it?” Were they really having this surreal conversation?

Finally, Jeff stepped in. “Look, Kurt’s right….or at least what he’s saying makes sense considering the circumstances. It’s worth a try, removing it from this place in particular and from anywhere we spend time. No, we don’t know that it’ll help or work…or whatever….god! this sounds so stupid!”

They all nodded, wishing they didn’t have to acknowledge that as stupid and every other adjective they could come up with sounded, it didn’t matter. They had to do something! “Okay,” Kurt said, “it’s settled. Do you have a box I can put it in?” Blaine found a suitable cardboard box and they carefully placed it all inside, sealing it tightly with packaging tape. “Look, I hate to break this up but I’d like to get rid of this as soon as possible. I’ll drive it over now. Javi, why don’t you stay here and I’ll come back to pick you up?”

“No, Kurt! I’m not letting you get in a car by yourself with that thing! No fucking way! And look at you! You’re sweating! It was freezing in there!” He crossed his arms, his accent more pronounced by the stress he was feeling. Kurt let out a frustrated sigh. “I understand what you’re saying, but I’ll be okay…” “You don’t know that!” Kurt set the box down on the kitchen counter, took Javi’s hand and led him to what he hoped would be the comfort of the couch. Would Antonio ever not be a constant reminder that life was fleeting and uncertain? Kurt was well aware of the fact that Javi’s protectiveness and worry was firmly attached to Tonio’s memory. And with good reason; he’d died in a skydiving accident! One day here; the next day…gone.

“Look at me.” Kurt said firmly, while cradling his face in one hand, “I’m the only one in this room who didn’t have some sort of reaction to it. Doesn’t it seem logical that I’ll be fine for the 10 minutes it’ll take to drive it over there?” “Kurt, nothing is logical about any of this! I won’t let you do this alone!” “Yes, mi amor, you will. I’m going nowhere with you in the car.” “But all I felt was a little queasy, that could have been anything…” Kurt interrupted, “And it could have been something!”

Suddenly Javi felt a hand on his shoulder. “How about if Kurt drives it over in your car and the rest of us can follow in ours? That way we can be sure…” Blaine almost said “he’s” but instead said, “everyone’s safe and then you two can ride back to your place together.” This wasn’t the ideal solution, but Javi had to agree that there really was no ideal solution. Kurt waited for Javi to speak, his crystalline eyes softening to let him know he understood his plight and that he appreciated his concern. “Okay…. I guess that’ll have to do,” was all he could come up with, choking back his fear.

“Now what?” Javi said as they left the storage unit with the box not just inside, but buried and hidden under a layer of bigger boxes. “I don’t know,” Kurt sighed. “Could you maybe have a talk with Tonio?” he ventured trying to lighten the mood. Javi half-smiled and said, “reasoning with him in life was hard enough; I can’t imagine reasoning with him when I can’t even see him.” The image of Javi arguing with an invisible Tonio made him chuckle, but he had to admit again, “This is getting serious. It’s not just dreams and nightmares anymore. Ya know, I know Jeff was just kidding when he said we’d have to call Ghostbusters, but we need some outside help here. We’re too close to the situation…in fact, it appears we might be the catalyst for it. And with us constantly going back and forth one minute thinking about how ridiculous this seems and the next having to admit there’s nothing ridiculous about it, we’re getting nowhere. If there’s one thing I can say about Jeff, he’s level-headed. I mean he’s already been doing some research online.”

Before the four had parted ways, they’d agreed to meet again the following week. They all needed some time to digest everything that had happened today. Driving the familiar streets back to their apartment Kurt’s mind drifted. He’d seen the movie Ghostbusters more times than he could count. He sort of wished he could call up Bill Murray or Dan Ackroyd knowing that the characters they’d played would solve their problem in less than two hours and they’d all wind up laughing in the end. Taking Javi’s hand for reassurance, he pulled into the parking garage. “Who are we gonna call, Javito?” “Hell I don’t know! Maybe Dan Ackroyd or Bill Murray…they might have some suggestions.” Kurt sort of laughed and shook his head. And there they were again, on the same wavelength….but dealing with a completely different plane of existence.