CHAPTER 11 – MORE THAN WORDS

Blaine held Kurt, rubbing his back with his left hand, not knowing why he was so upset, only knowing that he was needed. What if he’d changed his mind? He couldn’t bear to think of that. After all the hoping and planning and waiting…..please don’t let it be that.

“I’m sorry,” Kurt sighed in an aggravated whisper, “Sometimes I just can’t help thinking about the significance of…..everything!” Blaine squeezed him a little tighter. Oh, he knew all too well about the intensity with which Kurt viewed life. He could almost see him on the train of his past, gazing out of the tiny window trying to catch a glimpse of his future, hoping to deal with it before it ever arrived.

Murmuring soothing words, he delayed asking the question. But he had to ask! He didn’t want to force Kurt to say, “I can’t do this!” or “Blaine, I love you but I’m just not ready.” or any variation of “not yet…not today.” Kissing his earlobe, unable to hold the ominous words inside a moment longer, he ventured, “So….are you still okay with this? Kurt, I don’t want to….” Kurt palpably relaxed into the comforting depths of Blaine’s arms, only then realizing that his actions might have been misconstrued. “Oh no…..not….of course I am! I was just thinking again about, I don’t know….what got us to this point.” Stepping backward searching for a glimmer of uncertainty in Blaine’s eyes, “Unless you’ve changed your mind…?” Blaine looked down trying to hide a smile, mentally laughing at this verbal merry-go-round.

Blaine broke the spell of melancholy, handing Kurt a neatly folded fragment of cloth. “Here,” Blaine said, “put this on.” “A blindfold?” Kurt asked giving Blaine a confused look. “It’s a surprise, so stop analyzing and please put it on,” he sort of chuckled at Kurt’s seriousness. Quizzically peeking at Blaine one last time, he wrapped the piece of black cloth over his eyes, letting Blaine tie it at the back.

As soon as their texting had ended yesterday, Blaine had been excitedly planning today’s secret rendezvous. Secret…why did this seem so much more alluring….so much more enticing than it had a week ago? Secret, clandestine, whatever you wanted to call what they were doing….they’d always known that’s the way it had to be….no one else could know…..but now it was almost….almost a reality and still no one knew and that was so hot! Only he and Kurt knew…..

He understood it couldn’t be the way Kurt had imagined it. Them lying in a field of flowers the sun bright above them or autumn leaves drifting to the ground around them, but maybe he could still make it romantically memorable. Romance wasn’t exactly his forte…well, at least when comparing it to Kurt’s expertise….and he was nervous. What they were planning would alter their lives and their relationship forever. Their experience up until now had been, for lack of a better word, voyeuristic. There was no dearth of books and forbidden porn out there, not to mention the internet. He wanted perfection, but knew that was probably unrealistic. He sighed inwardly. All he really wanted to do when it came down to it was show Kurt how much he loved him in a new way. But this time was more complicated than that. “This time.” It always appeared as a quote in red capital letters in his mind.

Grabbing a pad of paper from the messy stack on his desk, he busily added and subtracted from his list of ideas. This would have been easier on his laptop, but he still didn’t really trust his mom enough for him to leave something like this, so easily accessible, on any of his devices. After he was done with the list he planned to tear it up and flush the incriminating slivers of paper.

Paper trails….never a good idea. And that brought to mind the surreal day they’d driven to Fort Wayne seeking STI/HIV testing. Blaine hadn’t really thought much about it and when Kurt brought it up his first question had been, “Kurt, we’re virgins! How could that even happen?” knowing in his head that Kurt had never experienced even the foreplay they engaged in with anyone but him, but suspicion crept into his mind anyway.

“To be honest, Blaine, we should have done it already…but it seemed so unromantic, ya know? But it kept bugging me, so I Googled it. I’d never really thought about it much until you came along. I’ll show you later, but the bottom line is we should be tested.”

At first, Blaine had sort of shrugged it off; this was Kurt just being his usual cautious self, seeing life through his not so rose-colored glasses. But he’d play along if it made Kurt feel more at ease. The thought of yet something else derailing their plans was simply out of the question! So, he checked out the sites Kurt had recommended. What could it hurt?

Well, it hadn’t hurt…exactly. But, much to his dismay, he’d discovered far more reasons to be tested than not. Getting tested in Lima would have been like sending a private message on Facebook only to discover that you’d made a horrible mistake and had actually posted it to your personal profile. When they’d finally received the negative test results from Planned Parenthood in Fort Wayne, Kurt had hidden them in his closet in a locked metal box shoved under some sweaters and surrounded with shoes. Then he’d made some lame joke about the fact that the results wouldn’t be coming out of the closet any time soon.

“Please tell me there isn’t a donkey and a pin in my future,” Kurt laughed nervously, bringing Blaine back to the moment. “Kuuuurrrrttttt….just take my hand, okay?” Blaine reached for his boyfriend’s hand and led him through the quiet house. When they reached the stairs leading up to his bedroom, he placed his other hand on Kurt’s back and said, “Careful, there are ten steps, okay?”

The door had been left open. His mom would have been pleased. Where were these random and ridiculous thoughts coming from? Focus! his mind chastised him.

Tentatively leading Kurt to the center of the bedroom, he said, “Okay, imagine my room.” Kurt couldn’t help but laugh. God! One minute he was almost weeping in Blaine’s arms, the next he was laughing as Blaine attempted to create the ultimate amorous moment. “You mean like it normally looks or what it looks like after I pick everything up?” Blaine rolled his eyes, although Kurt couldn’t see that. Blaine nudged him the ribs with an elbow. “Okay, okay,” he acquiesced, “Sorry.”

From then on, Kurt played along, allowing the anticipation to grow, as if it could grow any more, he thought! After a minute or so, Blaine asked, “Do you see my room in your head?” Kurt nodded, trying to concentrate for the sake of the game. “Tell me what it looks like.” Kurt inhaled and then exhaled trying to calm himself. “Well…the walls are covered in team pennants and photos. There’s a chair with a pair of jeans draped over it. Um….your laptop is probably sitting open on your desk and there are tabs up that you forgot to close and anyone could check it out because you keep forgetting your password.” Blaine nudged him a little harder this time, “Yeah okay….the door is still open because I didn’t hear you close it. The lamps, the nightstand….um, you made the bed…” Why did he have to say that? He could feel the twitch of Blaine’s hand holding his, attempting to reduce the tension again.

“Okay, keep your eyes closed,” he whispered as he removed the blindfold, closing and locking the door behind him.

“And now you can open them,” Blaine said with what Kurt detected as a smile in his voice. Kurt had noticed a recognizable scent of some sort as they’d ascended the stairs….something that hinted at the outdoors….sort of autumny?

There were candles dotting every surface winking invitingly! He circled the room, his stocking feet stepping on brightly colored fake autumn leaves. They were everywhere! The scent turned into a memory of burning leaves.

All the pennants and photos….well, anything that had been on the walls before was gone or at least covered…..in what looked like vinyl wall hangings on three walls. Trees dressed in the colors as well as the leaflessness of autumn surrounded them. Kurt was shocked! “When did you….how…..this is amazing!” Kurt said clapping his hands. What was that raspy whisper? Kurt laughed, “You’re streaming fall sounds….you thought of everything!” “And we can even use a blanket on the floor instead of the bed….um… if we want to,” Blaine stated. And again the whole reason why they were there struck them both. Suddenly, they felt shy and had to glance away from each other.

And just as suddenly, the seriousness of the next few hours became real. This wasn’t a game. They’d waited so long for this moment, this room. “Um, I brought some munchies…too,” pointing to the picnic basket that held court between the pillows. Blaine smiled up at Kurt from beneath his lashes.

Finally, Kurt broke the silence and the tension that followed by taking Blaine’s shoulders into his hands and drawing him into a fierce embrace. “Like I said, you thought of everything.”

It seemed rather silly to sit on the floor when they had a nice, comfortable bed to sit on. So, they took up their usual positions on the soft comforter, the picnic basket between them. Kurt grinned at Blaine again, lifting the wicker lid to peek inside. Cheese, crackers, fruit and a few baby cupcakes (one of Kurt’s favorites). Blaine had even pilfered a bottle of wine! The only time either of them had drank alcohol was at Christmas when they were allowed maybe half a glass. Kurt laughed, “You’re going to get me drunk and seduce me?” “If I have to!” Blaine replied. “Somehow I don’t think that will be a problem,” Kurt said.

Nibbling on some cheese and crackers, their heads resting against the headboard, they chatted over the picnic basket hoping to dissipate the nervousness that seemed to wax and wane. They almost opened the bottle of wine, but then decided they didn’t want to feel sleepy or drunk, even if it might allow them to relax. Without actually saying so, they didn’t want anything to take away from what the rest of this afternoon might hold.

https://youtu.be/_x6xFgKghTc

Swallowing a last sip of Diet Coke, Kurt closed the basket and set it on the floor beside the bed, reaching for Blaine’s hand, holding it tightly for a minute….that seemed like an hour. Blaine had snuffed out the candles, the scent of burnt leaves lingering, but left the bedside lamps on dim, just enough so they could see each other. In a jittery voice, Blaine whispered, “Um….how do we start this?” Kurt giggled a little, “We seem to ask that question a lot….” And then his kaleidoscope eyes softened to a deep blue. Rolling over onto his side facing Blaine, he examined his face using a finger to draw lazy circles along his jaw, over his cheeks, his nose and finally hovering over those penetrating hazel eyes. “I guess we start like this….”

“I love you, Blaine…and no matter what I always will…” he heard his voice crack, but he’d practiced this endlessly. He wasn’t going to let a case of nerves ruin it, “there’s nothing in this world that would ever make me stop loving you,” he continued. When I met you it was like….” he softly brushed his fingers across Blaine’s cheek and then his lips, “like our souls were on a collision course….like it was inevitable….I don’t know exactly what I’m trying to say…” Blaine spoke into the moment of silence, “it’s like after the collision, we began to merge until we weren’t Kurt and Blaine anymore, but….like…..Klaine maybe?”

Kurt held Blaine’s gaze, even as they smiled at each other at what sounded like a somewhat silly analogy, but…. “like….yeah, like that, I guess…..all I know is if soul mates are real, then you’re mine, Blaine….you’ll always be mine,” Blaine reached for the hand caressing his cheek and wrapped it around his neck, drawing Kurt’s tempting lips to his own.

Their kisses were faltering at first, almost like they’d momentarily forgotten how, afraid….of what neither was sure. They held back, not wanting to rush, but feeling so uncertain as their pent-up physical desires tried to override their deeper emotional needs. Neither had expected it to be so confusing.

As their hesitant kisses and stuttering caresses intensified, they struggled to find their cadence, their bodies melding until there was no space between them at all. And why hadn’t they thought to take off all of these bothersome clothes beforehand? It wasn’t like they hadn’t seen each other all but naked already!

In his haste to unbutton Kurt’s shirt a single button dropped to the comforter, no one noticing or caring. By the fourth button, Blaine abandoned his efforts, awkwardly wedging his hand into the opening he’d created.

His hand seemed to have developed a mind of its own, massaging Kurt’s chest, his neck, his belly with very little finesse…..he wanted him so much…..and all at once, wishing he had a million hands to roam the enticing expanse of his body.

Competing with the swishing sound of falling autumn leaves was an inharmonious sonnet of heavy breathing and moans, punctuated with half-uttered words. Kurt forced his hands under Blaine’s pullover, frantically pushing it up…trying with all his might to slow down, but all he wanted was to capture one of Blaine’s erect nipples between his lips. Not meaning to be so rough, he rolled Blaine onto his back.

His eyes found Blaine’s……lust, want, need….they were all there….covered with a layer of bewilderment. What are we doing? Who are these people? they questioned silently. Blaine’s eyes looked like they were on fire, matching the fire racing through Kurt’s body! Neither of them spoke. Like they’d become incapable of speech….like a spell had been cast that didn’t allow it, only allowing for this out-of-control desire.

Shoving Blaine’s green pullover up further over his head, in a tangle of arms, finally flinging their shirts to the leaf-laden floor, Kurt seized Blaine’s tender lips again, his hand and fingers playing the vulnerable nipple like a tiny harp. Blaine’s gasp was visceral….gut-wrenching…..his responses no longer under his control.

Again, he wanted to consume all of Kurt at the same time, knowing that was an impossibility! His restless fingers found the metal button on Kurt’s jeans…..but Kurt pushed his hand away, urgently uttering, “Let’s get out of these!” Clumsily leaping off the bed, they shucked their jeans to the floor, tossing their socks and underwear aside.

This was bizarre! Nothing like Kurt had imagined, but his overheated brain didn’t have time to think about that. It was too busy focusing on his completely naked boyfriend so obviously ready for him. He laid down on the bed again, wordlessly pulling Blaine’s nakedness against him, lacing their legs together. He was so hard he could barely stand it! Groaning, Blaine attempted to ensnare Kurt’s face and lips as he reached for Kurt’s cock….but Kurt stopped him. “Not yet,” he breathed,” I don’t want to…ya know….too soon.”

They’d talked about it endlessly, whispering and giggling in the darkness of their haven on the back porch. It was often a prelude to what would turn into a heavy make out session. In their version of how this would go, time would be meaningless. The irrelevant hours would allow for experimentation…they would have the luxury of repetition…perfecting their newfound freedom.

Kurt laid down facing Blaine again trying to catch his breath. They allowed the heat to dissipate for only a moment and then began exploring each other’s bodies like they’d never touched before. The total nudity was like a newly discovered aphrodisiac. There was nothing and nowhere that was off limits or out of reach. Running exploring fingers over their balls, up and down their legs, pulling their bodies tightly together as they grasped each other’s asses. Curious hands and lips hungry, famished with desire. But again, they stopped for a moment in an attempt to slow their breathing. In silence, studying each other’s eyes, they already knew what they wanted to do, but uncertainty held them in its grasp.

Kurt brushed the soft messy curls off of Blaine’s brow, telling him with a telepathic flash of his eyes what he was going to do. And Blaine’s eyes nodded and blinked in agreement, then closed, handing his complete trust to Kurt, one lover to another.

Softly kissing his way over Blaine’s sweet-tasting skin, starting with his face, over his chin and down his neck, he hesitated at the hollow between his neck and his chest. The sensation of Blaine’s heartbeat never failed to fill his own heart to overflowing with love. But, he stopped for only a second, the uncontrollable passion moving him forward.

His tongue and his mouth were like radar, exploring, tasting, dotting Blaine’s skin with tiny hickeys, listening to Blaine’s pleading moans, seeking their intended target, until they touched the indentation of Blaine’s navel. Kurt took a single ragged breath and gracelessly flipped his body around, trying to win the battle between his longing and his jangled nerves.

It had all seemed so logical when they’d talked about it…this part anyway. How many times had they read on the internet….and in great detail…. about the how-to of 69 along with what seemed like endless variations of the basic ABCs of it? How many times had they secretly watched porn to see what it was supposed to look like?

Yet here they lay wondering what to do next. Kurt experimentally brushed his inquisitive lips over Blaine’s hard-on and then kissed it a few times. Now how weird was that? He’d never seen…shut up! his foggy brain hissed, who cares? Just….concentrate….. And he could feel Blaine following his lead. They had planned this intricate dance….doing it together at the same time, sharing the experience as it were. Kurt closed his eyes as if to center himself and took Blaine’s cock into his hand at the base. This at least was familiar territory. And then pushing away all thought he took him into his mouth, his tongue exploring, tasting…..and he could feel Blaine doing the same…..and oh god it felt soooooo good!

Their attempt at taking it slowly from this point on was an epic failure. This must be what drowning in quicksand felt like. The sensation of being in the grip of something you had never imagined. And yet….you weren’t struggling to be released in fear for your life….you were struggling to be released from the most overwhelmingly sensual need you’d ever known. Too much….not enough….now…..no! not yet…..

They were terribly out of sync with each other….why hadn’t they decided to do it one at a time? This wasn’t nearly as romantic as it sounded or appeared, even in sleazy porn. Kurt had pictured it as sort of like synchronized swimming, every move smooth, in perfect time, both of them sliding into ecstasy at the same moment! Bliss.

Concentration seemed impossible, both wanting it to last forever but their bodies telling them it would end sooner than they wanted. There was no finesse, no slowing it down, all of that consumed by their need.

Kurt came first. It felt like his mind was totally detached from his body and he could hear Blaine sort of choke, knowing yet unable to truly be prepared for what this would feel or taste like. He knew what they’d agreed upon, but his reflexes took over and he gagged, swallowing with difficulty. Kurt whispered a frantic, “I’m sorry!”

Blaine’s only response was to take hold of the hand that held his stiff prick urging Kurt not to stop. Still worried about Blaine, but taking his touch as reassurance, he awkwardly resumed his quest to satisfy him. It felt like he was walking a balance beam for the first time, except he was trying to maneuver his hand in time with his mouth…and it was working sort of until he started thinking about his teeth….what if he accidentally grazed Blaine’s cock with his teeth? But Blaine seemed completely oblivious to Kurt’s dithering! His whole being was centered on Kurt’s touch, his response electric. He grasped Kurt’s other hand tightly in his own, unable to halt the movement of his hips. It was almost as if he’d forgotten Kurt was there, as he squeezed his lover’s hand tighter and with a final thrust of his hips, he came, returning to Earth, softly sighing Kurt’s name.

The taste….the texture…even as he heard Blaine quietly calling his name…..that’s what his mind was focused on, the taste, the texture, the fluctuating feelings, the inconsistency of movement. He couldn’t compare it to anything really. But at last he allowed his overactive brain to shut down. He closed his eyes, just laying where he was, his hand still holding Blaine’s flaccid hard-on. It was so peaceful. The sound of rustling leaves swirled around the room as they savored these moments while at the same time wondering if they should ask like you saw in the movies, “Was it good for you?” How ridiculous that phrase sounded to him now!

And neither could say that it hadn’t been. It may have not been like you saw in the movies or read in books where everything meshed into a perfect romantic, hot act of love. And even though deep down that was sort of what they’d expected, the fact that it wasn’t? Well, there would be other times. If anything, they were more concerned about the other’s well-being and their lover’s perception of whether it was good or not.

“Kurt?” Blaine’s voice softly invaded the quiet. “Hmmmm?” Kurt was so sleepy. “What you said earlier about forever and all…..do you still feel that way?” Kurt smiled to himself. Here he was feeling closer to Blaine than he ever had and he assumed that Blaine was worried that because it hadn’t been perfect this time that Kurt would love him less.

Kurt turned himself around, drawing Blaine’s naked body to his, holding him for the longest time and then whispered, “Yes, I meant it….and I mean it even more now.” The tranquility in the room was palpable as they gazed into each other eyes, the raw desire now replaced with the depth of intimacy one can feel only for their first love.

Blaine awoke finding himself with his body spooning Kurt’s, his arm draped over Kurt’s belly, their legs touching. He closed his eyes again, savoring the novelty, moving closer, allowing his fingers to settle on the laxness of Kurt’s prick.

As he reoriented himself, he glanced at the bedside clock. Oh, good! Only 2:30. They had a few more hours before they were expected at Kurt’s. He laid his face against Kurt’s back, love flooding his heart, as he breathed in Kurt’s unique scent and the slightly unfamiliar essence of sex.

This is how he viewed their future, always in love, sex whenever they wanted it, discovering a thousand ways to say I love you with their bodies. He could envision their wedding, maybe children. Oh sure, he reasoned, they’d have their ups and downs, but in his teenage mind those ups and downs were mere blips on the screen of life. They wouldn’t have the problems his parents had had. Somehow they’d always be able to talk things out or make a way where maybe it seemed there was none. After all, Kurt had described them as soul mates and soul mates never stopped being soul mates….did they?

He watched Kurt as he slept, his breathing even, a contented guileless look on his face. He knew what they’d just done would be revolving in his mind for days. How it had felt, the taste of Kurt still on his tongue. It was everything he had expected it to be…and yet not at all like he expected it to be. He realized there was a part of him who had believed that after doing this there would be a sense of resolution, a sense of satisfaction like climbing to the top of a mountain and claiming it with your flag. But it wasn’t like that at all. As he continued to observe Kurt, he could feel himself getting hard again. It wasn’t over; it was really only just beginning.

Look at him! Blaine thought. He is so hot! And as if by instinct he began lightly kissing Kurt’s back, feathery kisses, the feel of his lips on Kurt’s warm skin. His tongue traced the outline of his shoulder blades and the length of his spine as Kurt slowly began to awaken, murmuring Blaine’s name with a question mark attached in his half-sleeping state. “God, Kurt! You are so gorgeous….so hot…..” Kurt rolled over taking Blaine into his arms, pulling his face towards his own, kissing him slowly and passionately. He stretched his body, his legs open, loving the freedom of his nudity.

Their tongues took a lazy trip around their mouths, entwining, exploring, the room filled with the sound of their obsessive craving for each other. The pressure of Blaine’s hardness against his hip was punctuated with a steady prodding, Blaine’s desires completely concentrated on Kurt’s wickedly unfettered body.

His torso jerked involuntarily when he felt Blaine’s roaming fingers caressing his cock….then his balls, slipping and sliding his fingers over the sensitive creases along his inner thighs. With a quiet intake of breath, he relaxed, begging him with his moans and the pressure of his mouth covering Blaine’s.

After allowing Blaine his few moments of deliciously agonizing foreplay, he pulled him over on top of him, maintaining the kiss until Blaine raised himself up on his muscular arms, his eyes piercing Kurt’s. There was that naked desire again, only not quite as urgent as a few hours ago. “Blaine….” Kurt murmured as Blaine again lowered himself, hovering over Kurt.

Already hypersensitive, he rubbed his cock over Kurt’s belly, moving downward until he was rubbing Kurt’s cock with his own. Ohhhhhh…..his body sighed……ohhhhh…..

And then Kurt was encircling their stiff pricks with a single hand, pivoting onto their sides so that they were facing each other. Purposefully seeking and finding one of Blaine’s hands, he took its warmth into his own, guiding it to settle over the hand that held them together. Starting slowly, their hands moved in unison. There was no way to describe what they were feeling….what they were thinking.

“I want you, Kurt, I can hardly stand it I want you so much….,” the urgency obvious in his voice. Releasing Kurt’s hand he smothered him with an open-mouthed kiss. He felt Kurt’s moan vibrating against his lips as he tried to find his rhythm, his hand moving up and down, up and over their swollen members.

Kurt was no longer nervous, but he was inexperienced. The sensation of their cocks bound together in his hand, controlling the rhythm….it was intoxicating! But he’d slow down, then speed up, then have to reposition his hand…he could feel a sense of frustration mingling with the passion of Blaine’s mouth devouring his own.

For his part, Blaine tried to allow Kurt to take the lead, but sometimes his body couldn’t control the yearning to move faster. Kurt’s hand gripped his again, drawing it down, wanting him to feel them come…..hopefully simultaneously. It had sounded so hot when they’d discussed it!

Yet when his hand was secured over Kurt’s, the feel of them doing this together, their hands snug and steady on each other…..the sheer eroticism of that single act drove the level of his desire even higher! And as he felt himself come, his hand involuntarily squeezed Kurt’s a little tighter. There was that surge and then the warmth of cum as it spilled over their joined cocks and hands. He felt Kurt’s body collapse with a deep groan as he too succumbed, pulling Blaine even closer, the cum smearing over their bellies.

“Oh my god, Kurt…..” Blaine sighed into the notch of Kurt’s sweaty neck. As much as Kurt wanted to take Blaine into his arms and whisper sweet nothings to him, he didn’t want to let go….not yet. If it was possible, this felt even more intimate than what they’d done earlier.

“I love you…..I love us…..I love this…” Kurt murmured. At that moment his fondest wish was that they could freeze these moments and never leave this room again. Blaine simply nodded into his neck. There were lots of words he could say right now as a thousand thoughts raced through his mind, but the silence seemed to be saying everything, the rustling leaves singing the background music that they would forever associate with this time. And it was almost like the leftover smell of burning leaves clung to the room like it did to your clothing in the fall.

“Wanna get under the covers?” Blaine asked. Despite the sweat, it was getting a little chilly in the room. Kurt didn’t need to answer. They stood up looking at each other again, still feeling a little self-conscious of their nudity, then slid under the covers and back into each other’s arms like magnets. It felt so cozy cuddling underneath the blankets.

“I can’t believe you did all this!” Kurt said, glancing around the room, discovering a few more touches he hadn’t noticed when they’d first entered the room. Blaine laughed, “What? I can’t be a romantic, too?” “Well, sure…..but….” “Maybe I could be if I had a whole back porch with considerate family members…whenever we’re here, the door has to be wide open and my mom is not above finding an excuse to come up here!” Kurt had to agree he had a point.

They took turns coming up with innocuous topics, dancing around the questions they really wanted to ask, but a little fearful of what the answers might be. “So….what did you think?….no! that sounds so stupid…I mean was it what you thought it would be?” Kurt asked quietly, trying not to look away from Blaine’s hazel-eyed gaze.

Blaine fidgeted for a moment, waiting for the right words to tumble off his tongue, but he couldn’t seem to find what the right words were, so he finally gave up and said, “Yes and no…I guess…well like I can’t really describe how good it felt to finally be with you….like this, ya know?” He slid his hand down Kurt’s side landing on his firm ass and lingering there. Even now, he felt a tingle just touching Kurt’s smooth, naked skin, devoid of even one piece of clothing. “And it was so…..intense? I guess? I know we both sorta thought it would happen like it does in movies….but deep down….well I don’t know? I knew it would probably be something like what it was,” Blaine felt like he was saying too much and certainly not saying it the way he wanted to.

Kurt sighed with a slight smile and said, “I think I know what you mean. It felt…..how do I say this? It didn’t feel just one way….sometimes it felt good…sometimes amazing…sometimes weird…..but I definitely plan on doing it again, don’t you?” He meant the last part as a joke, but inside he really meant it. What if Blaine didn’t feel the same way? Yeah, he seemed to enjoy it, but what if….god! he hated his “what ifs”!

Blaine seemed to relax in his arms as he laughed and said, No, I think once is enough, Kurt….” and then he couldn’t stop laughing. At first Kurt was perplexed, but then he told his analytical side to take a hike. Blaine was just kidding, of course he was! Wasn’t he? “Well, actually twice is enough,” he managed through his uncontrolled laughter, “but they say third time’s the charm, so maybe….once more?” Even though Kurt was also laughing by this point, his more serious side, forced him to say, “Stop it, Blaine! It’s not funny!”

Blaine slowly downsized his laughter into a slight hiccup, then said, “I’m sorry, Kurt, but sometimes you’re so cute!” He hated being told he was cute, but he loved the laughter. It never failed, that sound somewhere between a giggle and a slightly naughty tease made him fall in love with Blaine all over again.

Kurt leaned over the side of the bed, snatching the picnic basket off the floor, asking, “You hungry?” “Yeah, now that you mention it….I guess I am!” Blaine replied, already thinking about the leftover goodies. “Should we open the wine?” Kurt ventured; it was a cheap screw-top so they wouldn’t be needing a corkscrew. “Sure! I’m in the mood for celebrating……us?….love?…and last but not least sex!” He smiled wiggling his eyebrows. “Would you like me to do the honors?”

With the bottle already in his hand, Kurt replied, “No, let me…I’m older and more experienced,” he smirked as he caught Blaine rolling his eyes. Setting the bottle on the night stand, he slowly poured the white wine into the two plastic glasses Blaine had remembered to include in the basket.

“To us….to love…and last but not least to sex!” Kurt repeated Blaine’s toast idea, handing him the glass, acting like he was trying not to spill it. What was that clicking sound? “Oops! Sorry, you might want to check that glass. I hope it’s not cracked or something.”

Blaine very gingerly took hold of the glass, inspecting it carefully. That’s all he needed! Spilled wine on this comforter! His mom had to have it specially cleaned so he couldn’t just throw it in the washer. He didn’t see any cracks and nothing was dripping, but he grabbed a Kleenex and placed it around the stem, jiggling the glass just to be sure.

There was that sound again! He looked through the rim and into the depths of the glass. He didn’t want to accidentally swallow a piece of broken plastic. And then he peeked up at Kurt…..”Go on, it won’t bite, I promise.” Sliding a single finger down the side of the glass, he latched onto what appeared to be a ring. Dropping it onto his palm, he picked it up again and examined it thoroughly. A simple gold band with a K engraved on the inside….and two words, Soul Mate.

“Kurt,” Blaine choked out, then clearing his throat, he tried again, “When did you find…..” “I did it a couple months ago…..hoping….you don’t have to keep it,” he looked down at his lap, but not before Blaine saw tears start to form in his eyes.

Setting the barely-filled glasses on the night stand, he hugged Kurt tightly, “Why wouldn’t I keep it? I…..god! Kurt! I love you! I’ll always love you….just like you said before…forever…we’re forever….” Finally letting go of Blaine, Kurt’s voice cracked, but he managed to say, “Give me the other glass.”

Drinking the bit of wine in the glass, more for some liquid courage than anything else, he removed an identical ring from his glass and handed it to Blaine. The engraving read “B Soul Mate.”

Blaine glanced at Kurt again, “Blaine, no matter what happens in the future…..you’ll always be my soul mate, always. Even if….things don’t work out….or…well who knows, but….” “Never, Kurt, not ever….that’s not going to happen. Come here.” He whispered, wrapping him in the assurance of his arms once again.

Kurt wanted to believe that. Forever was forever. The romantic in him swore on the soul of his skeptical self that all of the promises he’d made today were true. And at least for now he slammed the door shut on What If….swiftly before he could think about it again….before the pain that lay behind that door could escape.

Slipping the sticky rings on to each other’s fingers, they emptied the picnic basket, ravenous, determined to look no farther than the rest of this lazy Saturday afternoon…..holding onto their hope that forever love was more than words.