STILL CHRISTIAN AFTER ALL THESE YEARS….AND WHY

SUBTITLE: FROM A CHRISTIAN FAN FICTION WRITER – A CONTRADICTION IN TERMS? AN OXYMORON? YOU DECIDE.

This is the first of what I’ve chosen to call WRITE ON! The holiday season brought what follows to mind. I wrote it a few years ago more for myself than anyone else. I’m not sharing it to proselytize. Not to convince you that what I believe is something you should believe. And certainly not to make you uncomfortable. I share it because it’s a part of me, the writer.

Many may question my faith by virtue of the type of fan fiction I write. The videos that I share. The pictures that accompany my chapters. To be honest, I occasionally question what I’m doing within the context of my Christian beliefs. But I have to question my faith, my actions, my words whether they be written or spoken, sometimes daily, to help me grow as a human.

Sadly, (I think) I do not share my fan fiction with family or friends. They certainly wouldn’t find it acceptable. I often hear their voices in my head trying to convince me that I’m shaming my faith, the church, and Jesus himself. There are only two people offline who know about my writings and, I suppose, not surprisingly, they are much younger than me and are disillusioned with the church as a whole at the moment.

SUBTITLE: FROM A CHRISTIAN FAN FICTION WRITER – A CONTRADICTION IN TERMS? AN OXYMORON? YOU DECIDE.

This is the first of what I’ve chosen to call WRITE ON! The holiday season brought what follows to mind. I wrote it a few years ago more for myself than anyone else. I’m not sharing it to proselytize. Not to convince you that what I believe is something you should believe. And certainly not to make you uncomfortable. I share it because it’s a part of me, the writer.

Many may question my faith by virtue of the type of fan fiction I write. The videos that I share. The pictures that accompany my chapters. To be honest, I occasionally question what I’m doing within the context of my Christian beliefs. But I have to question my faith, my actions, my words whether they be written or spoken, sometimes daily, to help me grow as a human.

Having said all that, I wish you all very happy holidays whichever ones you may celebrate! Christmas is celebrated for many reasons, but in the end it all comes down to what Jesus taught…in a single word, LOVE!

STILL CHRISTIAN AFTER ALL THESE YEARS…AND WHY

I have been a follower of Christ for 26 years. I was not born into a family that practiced any religion, but we observed all the Christian holidays, so in that sense I had at a peripheral knowledge of Jesus, the man. When I stop to think about what I profess to believe it sounds pretty ridiculous, a man born a Jew proclaimed he was the Son of God, the Messiah, God in the flesh (REALLY????).

Jesus lived a short life and for about 3 years of it centered his proclamations and teachings around a small area surrounding Jerusalem, he did everything possible to provoke the leaders of the Jewish faith. He offered them nothing they wanted. They already had power. If they wanted their Messiah at all, they wanted a conquering, Rome-defeating Messiah to restore more of their power to what they felt was its rightful place.

Jesus said that was not why he came and refused to play their game. In the end, the power-hungry Jewish leaders used the power-hungry Romans to kill him, and this is where Jesus decided to play their game. (HUH???? REALLY???) He prophesied he would die a horrifying death, be buried and rise again 3 days later (OH, PLEEEAAASE!). He did this to conquer sin and death for all humans, not just those who choose to believe.

Because he was resurrected, rose again and was seen by many for 40 days after, he proved that the humans he died for would live after death – the afterlife.

Yes, that is what I believe, but I didn’t always believe that. As I said, it sounds pretty ridiculous if you don’t believe it. How did I come to this point? My pastor used a good illustration. When we are born, whether we like it or not, we are handed a script to live by.

In America, that script usually goes something like this. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, the pursuit of further education, more money, and a family, whatever that family may look like. Most of us spend our lives running in a rat race, following other power-hungry people who provide us with “good” jobs leading to houses with mortgages, debt, cars and all forms of things which in our culture represent “happiness” even if the pursuit ruins our health and our sanity.

Of course, not everyone in America lives or thinks this way, but the way most of us live here is a variation on that theme; even we Christians get sucked into this anxiety-ridden way of life. If Christians look at what we truly believe is the way we should be living, it should look nothing like the above scenario.

We follow a Savior who had no permanent residence, no mode of travel other than on foot or by donkey, shared meals and lives with all kinds of people, rich, poor, sick, young, old, even LGBTQ, etc., who delivered the above “ridiculous” message and then did the most sacrificial thing one can do for another. He offered up his life for all humans.

I came to this point of belief by living the above-described American life and through illness and a time of long self-assessment discovered that I didn’t even remotely like what I saw and needed to rethink the whole stinkin’ mess!

I gave God an opening and He took it. Why Christianity, as ridiculous as it sounds? My faith teaches about a God who comes to me not the other way around. He wanted me long before I ever wanted Him. A God who stoops so low as to become one of His own creatures and then goes through the door of the thing we fear the most (death) to show us how deep His love goes. No other faith, belief system, religion teaches that.

There have been many times I thought of walking away, but I can’t or won’t. Without a true relationship with my Creator, I have nothing but the same old life I had with no truth in it, just a bunch of ideas I create for myself. Self-worship just doesn’t make anyone “happy.”

There are days I wonder why I believe what I believe or even if I believe; faith is what I must rely on, which also brings me to the Church. The Church is just a body of believers who struggle with life and because they struggle just like I do, they become a support system. Of course, there are times when the people we struggle with are more a hindrance than a help, but I’ve already got that anyway with those who don’t believe as I do, so why give up on the one place that helps me 99% of the time?

No, I cannot reduce Jesus to four simple steps in a pamphlet, a bumper sticker, a particular book or to 3 bullet points on an overhead. I cannot force anyone to believe nor do I want to try. I can only keep on keepin’ on and follow the foot steps.