CHAPTER 27 EXPLOSION!

CHAPTER 27 – A GOOD MORNING EXPLOSION

Javi slowly opened his eyes, feeling a bit disoriented. After realizing where he was, he sighed and closed his eyes again. Last night….Hala! Hala! Hala! (Wow!). It’s no wonder he and Kurt had fallen asleep right here, from emotional exhaustion alone. Singing that impromptu song to Kurt, Kurt recklessly abandoning his cautious barrier, shocking and pleasing Javi to no end…and then him telling the story of Antonio…again. It would never be simple or easy, but he felt as if a giant anvil had been lifted from his chest. Ah! The sun was revealing itself; a new day, a new chapter. He knew it was probably just his imagination, his songwriter’s heart expressing itself, but he sensed Tonio’s blessing; somewhere the Sun was still burning bright as ever.

He and Kurt were lying flat, Kurt’s head resting on the arm of the couch. Javi was lying with his head on Kurt’s chest, his hand resting over his heart. Kurt had one arm on Javi’s shoulder and the other arm carelessly flung over his head. Javi raised his eyes to look at Kurt’s face. He was running out of words to describe that…well, indescribable for the moment!….face, hoping he would have plenty of time to come up with something more.

He had spent the past nine days trying to fix the blessing that was Kurt in his heart and his mind. Right now, he looked so innocent. He had the longest eyelashes he’d ever seen lying softly against his translucent skin. And, the way he’d worn his hair last night, loose, in a look that made him appear even younger. He wanted to reach up and touch the cleft in his chin….he had his head turned slightly so that Javi was almost seeing him in profile. He was like a godly exercise in symmetry from the top of his head to the tips of his toes.

He tried not to move so as not to wake him, but his head was lying at eye level with that fourth button on Kurt’s shirt. He smiled slightly at that. It was like those buttons were a visual gauge revealing Kurt’s willingness to leave behind the cloak of wariness he wore. The night they’d met at The Rafters, the shirt had two buttons undone and he kept fidgeting with the third. At Cam’s party, with the third unbuttoned, he’d revealed a little more of his letting go. And last night, with the fourth button open, as silly as it may sound, Javi found his eyes wandering back and forth between Kurt’s face and the space on Kurt’s chest that that button had hidden.

He was so content right here, right now. He slowly moved the hand that was resting on Kurt’s chest and slid it underneath his shirt. He wanted to feel his heart beating under his hand, as if doing so would bring him a tiny step closer to the reality of him, and hopefully them, holding each other’s hearts in the other’s hand, a metaphor for ultimate trust. As he closed his eyes again, all he was aware of was the sound and feel of Kurt’s heart beating.

It was almost 10 when Kurt opened his eyes with a start. He, too, looked around, disoriented for a moment. He’d been dreaming of Blaine and Antonio in conversation! All he could remember was Antonio speaking to Blaine as if he were warning him of…..something? What? He closed his eyes and tried to clear his head. He didn’t need or want either of them invading his life, much less his dreams, especially now. Javi felt so warm against his body. If he died right now and could take Javi with him he’d die a happy man. But living a future with him was so much more appealing.

Kurt reached down and touched his hair, those curls cascading over his forehead. He lowered his hand as gently as he could. He didn’t want to wake him; he looked so at peace, and after the tale he had probably told more times than anyone would want to tell, if ever, he deserved some peace. Antonio died? He’d imagined all kinds of scenarios as to how that bond to each other, almost like an umbilical cord, had ended, but none had included death. So young, so talented…so much a part of who Javi had been and still was. His description of Antonio as the Sun come to Earth came back to him. Losing him had been like removing all the heat, the light, the color and joy from Javi’s world. Like the Moon without the Sun, he thought, not yet knowing that his analogy was what everyone had seen with their own eyes. He would never rob Javi of the time it would take to continue to heal. He could see that even after 8 years, try as he might, Javi wasn’t totally there yet. And his thoughts naturally turned to what he and Blaine had had. As painful as it could still sometimes be, at least Blaine was still alive, hopefully happy, somewhere. It sort of helped him put their relationship in a perspective he’d never thought about.

But enough of the past! Here he was, one hand on this unbelievable man’s forehead and one on his shoulder. With Javi’s hand over Kurt’s heart, he felt so at ease, not just with his new life, but with Javi. He wanted to trust him so badly…and bit by bit he’d opened himself up to all the possibilities that Javi represented.

Javi stirred and slowly opened his eyes, reaching up to take Kurt’s hand placing it under his chin and around his neck, and after basking in the silence surrounding them, Javi sat up, shook out his arms, one of which had fallen asleep, and gave Kurt a sleepy smile.

“My Kurtito! You don’t have to work today?” Kurt explained the schedule at the boutique, again thinking how glad he was that he didn’t have to work. “Well, aren’t we the sight in the morning!” Javi laughed, then said, “just kidding, I could wake up a million times to morning Kurt!”

Kurt was sitting upright on the couch and he reached over to take Javi’s hand, drawing Javi towards him as Javi leaned in and kissed him ever so sweetly on the lips. Kurt said, “Thanks, but I must have horrible morning breath!” Javi moved in even closer and before Kurt could stop him showed him just how little he cared about morning breath. As the kiss deepened, Javi reached up and slowly ran his fingers through Kurt’s hair, then used his fingertips, lightly marching down each side of Kurt’s neck, moving underneath the collar of his shirt, making his way down the V of his chest where he reached the fourth button, and lightly tugged on the bit of hair that Kurt had allowed himself to reveal. Again, he used his fingertips to move back up Kurt’s chest, his neck and the tip of his chin. As he ended the kiss, he barely tugged on Kurt’s lower lip with his teeth, and released him. Kurt took a shaky breath and pressed his forehead to Javi’s, and sort of laughed, then said, “I’m not sure I’ll survive this time period of….us! I may lose my mind and possibly the rest of my body, just trying to live through your kisses!” Javi smiled and murmured, “Oh, mi corazon, te deseo mas de lo que jamas sabras, pero la espera valdrá la pena. Una vez que conozcamos las almas de los demás, conocer los cuerpos de sero como una explosion.” Then, he repeated it softly and slowly in English, “Oh, my heart, my love, I want you more than you will ever know, but the wait will be worth it. Once we know each others’ souls, the getting to know each other’s bodies will be like an explosion.” Kurt chuckled, “You mean THAT wasn’t an explosion??” And Javi laughed with him.