CHAPTER 44 SHOW AND TELL

CHAPTER 44 – SHOW AND TELL

Kurt was so thankful for the deep and relatively dreamless sleep.  He hadn’t realized how exhausted he really was.  No wonder, really.  It had been a weekend of emotional highs and lows.  He tried to focus on the highs while allowing his mind to prepare itself for calling Blaine.  There was a three hour time difference and it was 9 a.m. in San Diego.  He decided the best way to enter this day was slowly, trying to keep himself calm and opening himself up to whatever the day may hold.  Some yoga seemed like a good idea.  His body would welcome the stretching and his mind and heart would welcome the peace.  He raised some of the blinds to let some sunshine in.  Much as he loved the depth of darkness they provided at night, he needed the light right now, his whole body craving the illumination that the sun would bring.  

As he effortlessly cycled through his routine, breathing slowly, appreciating the awareness yoga brought to his whole being, he focused his mind on one of his favorite vistas.  Although not a typical San Diego view that most would choose, sunset beaches, tides rolling in and out, he chose it more often than not because it reminded him of the recent awakening in his life, the gift from whomever of Javi.  In his mind’s eye, he found them sitting beneath the tree in the park that they had claimed as “theirs.”  They had returned to the park and that tree many times since they’d met and had had some of their deepest conversations there.  Kurt had not stopped thinking about what or in whom he believed, at first mostly because he knew faith was important to Javi.  Not in the sense that he wanted Kurt to believe what he did, but in the sense that anything that was important to Javi was equally important to Kurt.  And he knew Javi’s faith was not just about what he believed but who he was, it permeated every area of his life.  He’d often observed Javi in videos bow his head before or after a performance and he’d asked him why.  Kurt wasn’t shy about asking questions.  No one learned anything by always keeping silent.  Javi had stared off into the distance for a few moments, then said, “It’s a combination of things really.  What I do in front of an audience is just as sacred as going to church is for some people.  I was created to entertain, to hopefully make the world a better place if only for the space of a single song.  I guess it’s sort of a prayer combined with touching the source of my inspiration, if that makes sense.  God is found everywhere, not just in buildings and choirs and holidays, Kurtito, or so I believe.”  And ever since, when he meditated, he found himself underneath that tree with his Javi.  If what Javi said was true, that tree, their lives together, anything and everything was sacred in some way.  Of course, the discussion had inevitably turned to what about the evil, the pain, the suffering in the world.  What was sacred about that, if anything?  “That’s an excellent question….and I’ve asked it my whole life.  All I can tell you is that I don’t believe God or whomever created any of those things.  He created people and gave them freedom of choice.  I don’t know why evil and pain were some of the choices.  I don’t know where evil comes from.  I probably have more questions than answers most of the time.  But when I look around at all the sacred spaces that exist, when I talk to God, and when He sometimes answers in any number of ways I know one thing – God is love.  I know it in my head and I feel it in my heart.  I hope that helps.”  

Kurt didn’t know it, but Javi had been praying for him almost from the moment they met.  It didn’t take him long to visualize Kurt as an answer to his own prayers.  He didn’t tell Kurt he’d been praying for him…not yet anyway.  It wasn’t praying in the way most people thought of as praying.  It was directing a thought to wherever God lived, here or there when Kurt came to mind.  It was asking questions about how to create a comfortable place to “be” for Kurt and him.  It was about seeking what might be best for his lover, not what Javio thought was best, but what God thought was best.  He never wanted to force his beliefs on anyone and especially not Kurt.

As Kurt brought his mind back to the room around him, he sighed.  He felt a sense of quiet inside, of “rightness” to whatever the day might bring, especially in his conversation with Blaine.  He took a shower, relishing the feel of the water, the scent of the body wash, his whole body.  More and more, he was moving toward liking his own body, rather than being so conscious of whatever flaws he perceived.  When he was done and toweling off, he looked at himself in the mirror.  This was what Javi saw when he looked at Kurt.  Javi loved Kurt’s body and for the first time he almost saw himself as Javi saw him.  And maybe for the first time he actually kind of believed it when Javi described him as beautiful, sensual, masculine….maybe even hot?  He laughed at himself, picked out a pair of blue sweat pants and left the room in search Javi.  Almost every Sunday morning, he could find Chef Javi in the kitchen creating a large protein-packed, carb-saturated breakfast.  Javi felt very strongly about taking care of his body, but he also believed that examining every bite of food you might put in your mouth was a waste of time and energy.  He tried to eat what he considered the right foods all week.  Sunday, if at all possible, was created purely for pleasure in his mind.  

As Kurt walked into the kitchen, Javi turned to smile at him and said, “I hope you like French toast, mi amor, and eggs and sausage of course.  Sunday isn’t complete without eggs and sausage!”  Taking one look at Javi, as delicious as breakfast smelled, the first thing he noticed was not what was on the menu.  There was Javi wearing a pair of barely there shorts, the waistline left loose and resting right on Javi’s hip bones, revealing his muscular torso and that tattoo of what might have been an eagle or a phoenix spanning his pelvis; Kurt really didn’t care what kind of bird it was, all he knew is whenever Javi dressed showing it off to advantage, it took his breath away.  He also had a tattoo running from just below his ear to his elbow with the word  Destiny written in cursive.  

Javi gave him a mischievous look, raised an eyebrow and asked, “See something you like, mi chico travieso?”  “And just who is calling whom a naughty boy??  I’m not the one cooking in the nude, now am I?”  “Well, if you’d like to help, I can always use some assistance, but of course, you must remove those sweats first.  We can’t have only one of us cooking in the nude!  And I have enough clothing on for any Californian!” he laughed as he crossed the kitchen, planting Kurt’s hands on each of his hip bones, teasing him with his lips as Kurt pulled Javi towards him, taking those devilish lips prisoner with his own.  Sometimes Kurt got so lost in everything that was Javi….

“Ah! But we can’t let breakfast get cold!” Javi said as he ended the kiss, “And I can tell you are veerrryyy hungry, mi Kurtito!”  Javi had a method to his madness, not that he felt he needed one.  He was hoping to make what Kurt had to do today easier.  He knew he could at least try to take his mind off of what lay ahead, if only for a little while.  If he had known what Kurt was doing earlier, he would have been very pleased.  He would have said Kurt was trying to commune with whatever he might believe in; he was seeking help in his own way to deal with the difficult tasks life could present.  

Kurt ignored the blatant attempt at humor.  Javi knew exactly what he was doing and Kurt was pretty sure he knew why and was thankful for it.  There were not enough words to describe to Javi how much Kurt adored him.  Being with this man was like someone wrapping him in all that was good and beautiful…and if Kurt could read Javi’s heart and mind, he would know that the feelings were more than mutual.  

By the time they were done with breakfast and clean up, it was close to 11:30.  Their breakfast conversation must have covered every topic but what lay ahead.  Kurt was as ready as he’d ever be, and again, Javi was taking his cues from Kurt.  As Javi headed for the media room, Kurt caught him by the arm and said, “Do you mind if we do this in my bedroom? I want to be as comfortable as possible and lying down on that silk comforter, well, I guess it’s called a comforter for a reason.”  Javi gave him a half-smile and nodded, as Kurt took his hand.  

Kurt laid down just as if he were going to go to sleep, his head on his pillow, his legs stretched out long.  He’d already programmed Blaine’s number into his phone so he wouldn’t have to search around for it and maybe give himself an opportunity to put it off.  As Javi lay next to him on his side just watching Kurt, Kurt took his hand again, and Javi closed his eyes.  Even though Kurt wanted him here, he felt he needed some form of privacy.    

The phone rang a couple of times, and then Kurt heard Blaine’s voice, “Hello?”  Kurt closed his own eyes, then opened them and said, “Hi, it’s Kurt.”  There was a moment of silence, “Kurt! I knew it had to be you or Adam, I don’t know anyone else in San Diego.  How are you?”  Blaine actually seemed pleased to hear Kurt’s voice.  Kurt swallowed hard, “I’m fine!  How are you?”  He was half afraid to actually say his name, so he took a deep breath and waited.  “I’m doing great, Kurt!  It’s good to hear from you!”  Really? What was good about hearing from an ex-boyfriend that wouldn’t speak to you for two years?  “Yeah, um, I was just calling to see if you have any plans for the holidays…I mean are you going to be in Lima?”  “Yeah, yeah!  I am.  Actually I plan on being there for Thanksgiving and Christmas.  We’re having kind of a family reunion over Christmas, so everyone’s trying to be there.  You know how little that ever happens in my family.”  “Yeah, well, that sounds great.  I was hoping maybe we could get together….to talk.”  Blaine was silent, then he cleared his throat and said, “Sure, Kurt, I’d love to!  When?”  Why did he sound so…cheerful?  Like this was just two old buddies wanting to catch up?  “Why don’t you text me when you’re planning on being in town and we can make plans from there.  Either Thanksgiving or Christmas is fine with me.”  Fine?  Nothing was “fine” about any of this!  “That sounds really good.  The Lima Bean?  You haven’t changed your coffee order, have you?”  Blaine said and sort of laughed.  Oh, my god!!!!  He was laying here trying not to cry and Blaine was acting so…what, what was he acting?  “That sounds okay.  Just text me and we’ll make plans from there, okay?”  “Sure, Kurt!  I’ll be in touch.  Good to hear from you!”  Kurt managed to get out, “Um, yeah, bye.”  “Bye, Kurt.” He hadn’t been able to say Blaine’s name once during the whole conversation.

He disconnected and stared at the ceiling, tears silently sliding down the sides of his face onto the pillow, and without a word, Javi reached for him, whispering, “Abrazame, mi maravilloso hombre mágico, solo abrazame (hold me, my magical wonderful man, just hold me).” And as Kurt clung to him, he cried silently with him, although he hadn’t intended to.  He wanted to be the strong macho Latinx, protecting Kurt, but in truth, he knew that Kurt didn’t care if Javi was crying or not, all he needed was someone to hold him, a safe space to release everything he was feeling.  As Kurt’s breathing slowly came back to normal, Javi reached behind him for the box of Kleenex on the nightstand. Little by little Kurt freed Javi from his tight grip, grabbed a few Kleenex and tried to get himself under control, while Javi did the same.

Once Kurt was sure he could put two words together, he glanced at Javi and said, “Aren’t we a pair?  I guess you’re living proof that Mexican men do cry….maybe just not when they’re in Mexico?”  And Javi smiled, “It would appear so, mi amor.”  And for a while they simply laid there, foreheads together, just holding each other’s arms and playing with each other’s hair.  “Do you want to talk about it, Kurt?”  “Not now, maybe later; I know I probably need to and I wanted you here for a reason, ya know.”  Javi nodded.  Then Javi had to laugh as Kurt said something so typically Kurt! “Oh! I hope I didn’t ruin these beautiful sheets crying all over them!  They’re silk!”  “Dios mi!  Really, Kurt?  You’re kidding!  Yes, you’re going to be just fine, mi amor!”

And without any warning, Kurt pushed Javi onto his back and kissed him exactly like Kurt loved for Javi to kiss him, relentlessly, mercilessly, pouring what was left of all those pent-up emotions into a kiss that left Javi almost gasping for air, and before he could recover, Kurt imprisoned those sinewy shoulders, straddled his belly and gave him a wicked grin, “You promised we could play, remember?  I believe you said something like after I had set my course?  Well, my course has been set.  So….”  “But what about your dad?”  “What?? Oh, my dad is a lot of fun, but I don’t really think our idea of play is really his thing, bebe.”  Javi shook his head, “No!  Aren’t you going to call him?”  “Later….much, much later, Javito….now, I do believe you mentioned something about touching….maybe like the Latinx version of Show and Tell?  Like I show you what I think you might like and then you tell me if you do….do I have the rules of the game right?  Or are the rules are that there are no rules?  Do I get to go first?  It’s only fair, it was your turn last time.”  Kurt pretended to pout and all Javi could do was laugh at him.  He knew this was good for Kurt.  He needed to play right now, but apparently he wasn’t really in the mood for cards or Monopoly.

“Okay, mi Kurtito, you may start the game.  The only rule is that you must ask if I like something and if I say no, you stop.  If I say, how about like this instead, you try.  If I say, “Oh, my God!  Si, si, si, oh please, no, no, no…, you listen to the si first, if I really do mean no, I’ll tell you.  Now, I’m going to make a suggestion and you may follow it or no, but I suggest you either start at the very top and work your way down or you start at the very bottom and work your way up.  And this may sound like your mother talking, but you should always be sure that the other person has showered beforehand, unless you’re both in the mood for hot and sweaty…which can be a lot of fun actually…but I digress.  It’s a matter of courtesy.”

Oh, and before you start, yes, I love the way you pinned my shoulders, just the right amount of pressure.  And I like it when you sit on my belly like you’re doing right now.  Between that and my shoulders I feel sufficiently helpless, or at least I’ll let you believe that for now.  And that kiss? Perfecto!  Let me show you…” and just as swiftly, he flipped Kurt onto his back, took the exact same position and kissed Kurt with every ounce of desire that was working its way through his body, pouring it into Kurt, then releasing him from the kiss, and as Kurt squirmed beneath him, he whispered against Kurt’s mouth, “Are you sure you want to be “it,” mi Kurtito, or would you like me to keep on with what I’m doing…answer quickly I won’t wait much longer….”  Kurt was gasping now, “Javi, Javi….let me up….”  “Oh, are you sure, you must be very sure..” and as Javi held his shoulders, he began nibbling Kurt’s ears, then tickling his neck with the curls Kurt loved so much….”Javi..stop…. please… please…oh, my god! that feels so good….stop….” and just as quickly as it started, Javi stopped, sat up on Kurt’s belly and said, “Okay, you start, I’m all yours…” and he laid down on the bed, his arms behind his head, with closed eyes.  It took Kurt a minute to recover, but when he did, he turned to Javi and studied his body like there was going to be a test…what had just happened?  Damn!  It had been delicious!  He could have stayed right where he was….

He continued to study Javi’s stunningly exquisite body.  Everything about him was an invitation, a temptation, laying there so relaxed, concealing nothing….well, almost nothing, but those shorts weren’t exactly concealing anything.  He decided to start at the bottom.  This was pretty much uncharted territory and he relished the challenge.  Kurt crept to the foot of the bed and began by running the tip of his tongue from the heel to the toes of Javi’s right foot, then using the tip of his finger he did the same to his left foot.  Javi sighed and barely whispered, “Yes….”  Kurt repeated the motions with his tongue and then his finger, ever so lightly, then increasing the pressure, asking, “Both?”  “Mmmm…um-hm….”  Then moving his tongue to just beneath his toes again on his right foot, he slid his tongue back and forth slowly, then took each toe, one at a time into his mouth, sucking on it, starting lightly, then increasing the pressure until Javi moaned, “Oh, my God, Kurt, yes, si, yes….”  He continued the leisurely journey up Javi’s body, touching, tasting, stopping, starting…and waiting for his lover’s erotic responses…whether yes, no or maybe, just hearing and observing Javi’s body language speak in so many ways was hot….very hot!  Arriving at his inner thighs, he remembered so well how helpless he’d felt when Javi touched this expanse of his own body…even if Javi hadn’t had his hips effectively trapped at the time, he had almost lost all control from just a touch, so he was careful.  Those shorts had no hem on them; they were tight to Javi’s body and left nothing to the imagination.  It took every bit of restraint that Kurt could muster to not lay his hand over Javi’s obvious hard-on.  He quickly looked away, opened his hands and moving from one leg to another, he slid his palm lightly over the soft skin, enjoying the caramel-colored skin, trying to maintain a safe distance from that one forbidden area….at least for now. He was discovering it wasn’t necessarily where you were touching, but how you were touching, and there was such a variety of wonderful ways.   He leaned down and began lightly kissing one leg while sliding his palm and then his fingers along the other.  He felt Javi press his pelvis flat against the bed, as if trying to maintain control, “Oh, Kurt, yes, your lips, yes…..I want you so much…..so, so, so, so….stop, stop….you have to stop…..” and Kurt did, raising himself off the bed and moving to Javi’s belly; how he loved this zone.  He was already aware of how vulnerable it was to any of his ministrations, and even though he wanted to taste it and take control of it, he stopped and asked, “Javi? Si or no?”   “Yes….oh, yes…si..” and he almost had to force the next words out, “but you have to stop when I tell you…”  Kurt lowered his lips, but then decided to start by using his hair.  He brushed his hair across Javi’s belly, savoring every “si and yes,” then on his hands and knees, kneeling above Javi, he pressed his hands to his hips and began exploring his belly, increasing and decreasing the pressure until he arrived at his navel, and repeated what Javi had done to him….and like an explosion, Javi was begging Kurt to continue and then stop, but when Kurt stopped, he would plead with him to start again….oh, my God, my God, my God!  Kurt was so turned on that when Javi finally said, “no, no, stop, mi Kurtito, you have to stop,…,” it took everything Kurt had to do so…not for Javi, but for himself!  Kurt arose from the position he’d been in, hovering over Javi’s body, and reached for the scented oil on the nightstand.  Applying a drop to each index fingertip, he approached Javi’s nipples, lightly grasping one between his teeth and just as lightly touching the other with one of his fingertips, barely teasing them until they were rigid, Javi sighing and moaning, unable to stay still, reaching for Kurt’s dense thatch of hair, “Now, Kurt, now!  harder…” and using his mouth on one and his finger on the other, he amplified his efforts, bearing down and assailing each with his tongue, his lips and his finger until Javi was writhing on the red silk, mumbling incoherent words and phrases.  Kurt continued, drawing out the delicious agony, sitting back on Javi’s belly….and Kurt felt his lover wriggling beneath him, as he used the finger that still had oil on it to indulge himself….he was barely maintaining any sense of restraint, but….as he sat atop Javi, he used his finger to unscrupulously pleasure Javi and himself, manipulating his navel as Javi had done to him with his tongue, moving his finger barely underneath the ridge of skin at the top, waiting, watching, feeling Javi body rising and falling as Javi expressed his longing for Kurt to continue and then imploring him to stop…..

Javi knew he was reaching the point of no return…. Kurt pinning his body underneath his own…controlling his every emotion, making him beg for his touch…..”Oh, mi Kurtito…..please…..I want all of you….I…..nooooo….noooo.. .oh, Dios mi, stop!….We have to…..stop…..”  Javi reached for Kurt and pulled him down on top of him….feeling Kurt’s erection….Kurt feeling Javi’s…

He suddenly realized, he had only his shorts on and Kurt had only his sweats…he turned to lay on his side as Kurt toppled to the bed facing him…..between his breathlessness, Javi said, “Kurt….under the covers….we….need to get….under the covers…,” and that’s when Kurt understood why.  They quickly kicked the comforter down, then drew it up again over their hungry bodies.  Kurt, in a second of clarity, reached for the scented oil again.  “Javi….”  Javi took the lead, whispering, “Mi amor, take off your sweats…”  “But….,”‘ Kurt started to say.  Javi shushed him and as Kurt rather awkwardly removed his sweats, Javi removed his shorts.  

Javi drew Kurt’s face to his own with his free hand, “A little oil…. please,” Kurt complied, not at all sure where this was going.  “Now, you.”  Again, Kurt spilled a bit of oil into his own hand.  “Mi amor….for me, just for me….touch yourself…..just thinking about how turned on you are….how ready you are…..now….please….that oil slippery on your beautiful cock…yes…” and as Javi continued to beg Kurt to touch himself, he reached for his own hard-on whispering….”ah….I did not plan this….but lying here together….completely naked…I want you, Kurt..you have no idea what you do to me…” “And I want you, mi Javi….please, let me touch you…I need you…now…right now….,”  As Javi held Kurt’s face, kissing him with so much passion while sharing this moment, both of them moaning, steadily pulsating hands bringing them to climax, Javi with ragged breathing whispered against Kurt’s lips, “Someday…mi amor….you will be inside of me…and I will be inside of you….oh, how I want to feel your cock so hard inside of me…” and with that, Javi came, panting, “Si, si, si….oh Kurt….I’m coming….”  Kurt was oblivious to everything except Javi’s mouth on his…..broken only by their murmurings of desire and lust…the thought of them together, completely exposed, hearing Javi describing what he wanted…what he needed…and unable to rein in his own longing, his body took over and liberated him, coming so hard and so fast, he lay there totally out of breath, his body limp and satisfied.

Neither said anything until Javi reached for Kurt’s hand bridging the expanse of the bed between them.  “Kurt,….that was…..incredible…..so deliciously on the edge.”  Kurt, with his eyes still closed, holding tightly to Javi’s hand, let out a deep breath, and releasing his grip, let his entire body go limp again.  As they lay side by side maintaining the space between them, Javi was suddenly overcome with emotion.   It had been such a long time since he had felt anything close to what he felt for Kurt.  More and more he had to suppress the urge to tell Kurt he loved him, with every breath in his body, he loved him.  But it was not yet time….he was frustrated with the waiting, but the waiting was necessary.  He remembered the same frustration between him and Tonio. Although, Tonio had been the outwardly passionate, intense one, in the beginning he had been the voice of reason, the one who somehow managed to keep them on track when their desire was in danger of becoming uncontrollable.  So often he had questioned why…why were they doing this?  Until the day they’d united as one, colliding like thunder and lightning, joining forces to create the perfect storm.  That’s what he wanted for him and Kurt, a blending of diversity and commonality to form an unbreakable bond.    

He glanced over at Kurt, his Kurtito, with the dark ginger hair, all in a mess, his swollen lips from all of the passion in their kisses, and those kaleidoscope eyes lasering back at him, expressing everything that Javi was feeling, “Javi, my Javito….I…..,” Kurt gently traced a finger along Javi’s face, “we don’t need words to say what’s inside…”  Javi smiled lazily and nodded.  

After carefully dressing again and then undressing to take showers, they decided to meet in the living room for a change.  Javi had prepared a platter of fruit, crackers, cheese and nuts to snack on, along with the ever present pitcher of water.  As they sunk into the couch cushions, Kurt grabbed a handful of nuts and some fruit while Javi chose some music….sharing a love of music, almost any music, was one of the things they loved most about each other.  

Kurt was feeling so relaxed, so content.  They playfully tried to feed each other pieces of fruit, enjoying their own sense of silliness, ending up in a mini food fight until their hands and faces were all sticky with juice.  “Javi, Javi, stop!” Kurt laughed as he kissed his sticky face, pushing his hair out of his eyes so he could look him in the eye.  “Thank you, mi amor, for being there for me today, in every way.” Javi waited; if Kurt needed to talk he would be here to listen.  As Javi became quiet, Kurt reached for his arm and laced it around his neck, lightly holding his hand, and Javi leaned back into the couch.

“That conversation with Blaine, it was….weird.  I can’t think of another way to describe it.  I couldn’t even call him by name and he acted….well, it felt like he was talking to an old friend that he hadn’t seen for two years.  He actually sounded glad to hear from me…like we’d simply lost touch, not like….like…it had ended the way it did.  He even asked me if I’d changed my coffee order when a meeting at the Lima Bean was suggested.” Javi had heard the tale about their coffee orders, and silently he agreed that it was….weird.  “I really don’t know what to make of it!”  As for Javi, he was pretty sure what to make of it; the dream about the arguing Tonio and Blaine was possibly starting to make some sense if his suspicions were accurate.  “Kurt, are he and….is it… Barry?”  Kurt nodded.  “Are they still together?”  “Heck, I don’t know.  If they aren’t Adam never mentioned it to me, but then he and Barry aren’t exactly close personal friends, and I told Adam I was going to try to meet with Blaine.  I’m pretty sure he would have revealed something as significant as that if he knew.”  Javi decided to keep his thoughts to himself.  He didn’t want to create a scenario in Kurt’s head, especially when he had no idea if he was right.  On the other hand, he didn’t want Kurt to walk into a situation totally unprepared.  For now, he’d keep the idea that Blaine and Barry were no longer together to himself and that perhaps Blaine was thinking of a possible Kurt and Blaine reunion.  Kurt was by no means stupid, he’d put  two and two together soon enough.  And maybe Kurt was making more of the conversation than was necessary.  It had been horribly painful for Kurt.  It was easy to read more into words and situations when your feelings were so close to the surface.  When Kurt was all talked out, he waited for Javi’s input, but Javi remained silent.  Unless Kurt asked, now was not the time for his input.  

“And, thank you for crying with me….I don’t think I’ve ever thanked anyone for crying….and for teaching me to make love in ways I’ve never dreamed of….I have never, ever felt as loved and wanted and needed as you make me feel….never,” he said emphatically as if trying to tell Javi that Blaine was not in his heart anymore and never would be.  Ah, his perceptive Kurtito.  “Bebe, you are not the only one who is learning, don’t assume I wrote the book,” he laughed, “You know far, far more than you realize,” and with that he pushed Kurt flat on the couch, holding him down and impishly licking his sticky face as Kurt giggled, trying to push him away.  “Stop, Javi, stop, stop it!”  Javi quit for just long enough to say, “Oh, that’s what you always say, but you never really mean it,” and then he captured Kurt’s mouth, loving the feel of his still swollen lips.