CHAPTER 51 – BETWEEN THE SUN AND MERCURY

I reworded the song You Are Not Alone by Michael Jackson to fit the story, so when you listen to the song read along with the lyrics.

CHAPTER 51 – BETWEEN THE SUN AND MERCURY

When Javi awoke he had to piece together where he was.  With eyes still closed the tantalizing aroma of coffee drifted through the open bedroom door along with the unmistakable smell of eggs and sausage.  Home: San Diego, Kurt….for him that was home now.  How could he possibly have survived all of those lonely years between Tonio and Kurt.  And sometimes that’s how it felt, in a good way.  Tonio anchoring him at one pole, Kurt anchoring him at another; between the Sun and Mercury.  And the years in between?  Like aimlessly floating in space or possibly orbiting his music; the one thing that kept him sane.  

He heard Kurt enter the room.  Upon opening his eyes, there was Kurt with a tray full of food – eggs, sausage, hash browns and espresso.  Kurt had finally reached a point where he actually made a decent cup of espresso.  Javi sat up and Kurt carried the tray over to the side of the bed where Javi was, placed it over his lap and then went back to get his own.  After everything was arranged so that nothing would spill, he got back under the covers, leaned back against the headboard and turned his gaze on Javi.  Javi touched his cheek and then gave him a warm, almost chaste kiss.  It felt like they were meeting for the first time all over again.  Kurt suddenly felt shy.  And yet whatever it was that had been altered between them….it felt just like last night for Kurt; like some sort of force field surrounded them, like they were linked by something stronger and more secure than had existed just a day ago.  

They set about eating, Javi complimenting Kurt on his much improved ability to make espresso and everything else about the meal as well; when was the last time anyone had served him breakfast in bed?  Javi said he hadn’t had a decent breakfast since leaving San Diego.  When they were done, they set the trays on the floor and laid back on their pillows, hands behind their heads.

“So what do you want to do with the rest of the day, mi Javito?”  It was late morning, “I want nothing more than to lay in this bed with you and have conversations or listen to music or watch a movie, as long as I don’t have to leave this bed.  I missed you….I missed us…so much, mi amor.”  Kurt laid his head on Javi’s shoulder as Javi drew him closer so he was cradled against his chest.  “Mi Javito…..what happened last night?  Why….do we feel different?”  Javi chuckled and asked, “Which part of last night?  The part where you made your debut as Beyonce…or the part where you put Mick to shame?  Or the part where you literally and figuratively tied me in knots?  The part where I somewhat successfully put you in your place?  Maybe the part that caused me to wake up with sore lips?”  “You know what I mean….” Kurt said.

Javi sighed and grew quiet, “I don’t really have a good answer for that.  Possibly because we were apart for an extended period of time and for the first time.  Possibly because we’re becoming more intimate in every way, our minds, our hearts, our bodies – as I’m sure you’re aware by now, learning how a person’s body responds and what a person likes is a gift that shouldn’t be exchanged lightly; it should be taken seriously, especially in a long-term relationship, people change, bodies change.  I know I can trust you with all of me; if I didn’t know that I would never have allowed you to restrain me like that and you would never have trusted me to touch you much more intimately than I ever have; you were in a very vulnerable position but you trusted that I knew what I was doing and wouldn’t do it without your consent.  Probably all of the above, mi creative, thoughtful, exciting, red hot, shamelessly sexy Kurtito!  Does it bother you?  Are you troubled?”

“Oh, no, no!”  Kurt said and kissed the hand that lay on his chest, “On the contrary, mi corazon.  I feel…I don’t know….how do I put it in words….I feel so treasured?  Like we’ve been gift wrapped for each other….like…we’ve been slowly opening the boxes….and…and we just peeked inside and discovered another something we really like?  No…not something we really like…. something we need.  It’s so strange and comforting.  Like we’re connected by a thread?  A cord?  Something that either wasn’t there before or I didn’t recognize it?  Is that what you feel?”

Javi kissed his hair, “Have you ever heard the phrase, “a strand of three cords is not easily broken”?  The idea is expressed in different words in many faith traditions. I noticed you had one of my Bibles and some other books on your nightstand.  The phrase is from the book of Ecclesiastes.  It’s used a lot in weddings, but what it means is that when two people are joined together and have God at the center, the cord is strengthened a thousand times.  I don’t know where you’re at on your spiritual journey, but the fact that you’re searching says that you’ve recognized you need to be on one.  Whatever you come to believe, whether it’s what I believe or not, our relationship is strengthened by faith.  Not everyone would agree with me, but…..Kurt, we’re bound together by trust, hope, desire, love…..and whatever happened last night, all of those things are stronger.  It’s nothing to be afraid of, but it is something to celebrate.”  Javi cupped Kurt’s chin and turned his face so he could look him squarely in the eye.  How Kurt loved those gentle brown eyes, the steady gaze that said what words could not.  Kurt tipped his head and drew Javi’s face to his, kissing him, whispering, “Thank you.” 

 
Javi just smiled and then suddenly his face lit up like a Christmas tree!  “Oh, mi Kurtito!  What you did last night?  You did all of that for me?”  Kurt smiled, too, “So you liked it?”  Javi laughed with complete abandon, “Did I like it?  Have you lost your mind?  I haven’t had lips so tender from kissing in a very, very long time!  It’s like waking up with a hickey on your mouth!  And all the memories that caused it!  Where did you get that black outfit?  And I really love it when you mingle music into all of it.  Honest, I’ve never seen anyone do it as good as you do.  You had to have practiced…..oh, how I would have loved to be here to watch that!”

“But then it wouldn’t have been a surprise, Javito!  The outfit was one I wore back in high school.  I don’t know why, but I asked Dad to send it with the one from Le Jazz Hot!…and don’t get any ideas!  I’m not going to perform for The Rafters.  I didn’t have to practice Single Ladies much, it came back pretty quickly, but it did feel kind of weird watching myself do a strip to Moves Like Jagger in front of a mirror….” he burst out laughing at the thought, to which Javi replied, “Will you do that again just for me?  I want to make sure you got all the moves right; moving like Jagger requires lots of practice…..hmmmm….maybe we could move like Jagger together….with practice, lots of practice….or maybe we could do a mutual strip….kind of like I’ll show you my moves, you show me yours….and then when you’re all naked…..oh! don’t you just love that word…naked?”  Kurt was still laughing, “Says the man with sore lips!  But yes you have mentioned it once or twice..”  “I don’t need my lips to strip you naked!”  Kurt couldn’t stop, “And what about the thong?  Are you going to put that on again? “For you, Kurtito, anything!  I will put on and take off anything!”
Soooo good!  This felt so very, very good!  Laying here with nothing to do but laugh, love and catch up on the latest with his adorable, whimsical lover.  When they finally stopped laughing and had wandered into other topics, Kurt decided this would be a good time to talk to Javi about his dream.  He wanted to tell him before they left for Lima.  

“Um, I had that dream twice while you were gone, and it keeps evolving, but I think some of it is starting to make a little sense.”  Javi waited, working very hard not to ask questions or interrupt; he’d learned long ago you often learned more keeping silent, although it was never easy to wait.  

“This is sort of how the dream appears now.  All of us, you, me, Antonio and Blaine are in the auditorium where we went to high school.  Blaine and I are on the stage with Antonio.  You’re sitting in the audience chairs wearing my Le Jazz Hot! costume,”  they both laughed a little, “Blaine’s singing I Want You Back, I’m singing It’s Too Late and Antonio’s acting as a sort of referee.  Okay, I think that part’s pretty obvious.  You know the strange vibes I was getting from Blaine’s texts?”  Of course, Javi remembered that.  Even before the dream details, he’d been waiting for Kurt to come to that conclusion, that indeed Blaine probably wanted him back.  Tonio as a referee?  He had to hide a smile; that was Tonio for sure, protective Tonio.  “Sure, I remember, mi Kurtito. But why obvious?  Dreams are dreams.  I’ll admit I’ve been thinking that since you first told me about his texts, but what if he wants you back but maybe as a friend and not a lover?  He doesn’t know about us so who knows what he may be thinking.  And what about his boyfriend?  Are they still together?”  Kurt didn’t say anything, sort of confused by Javi’s reaction.  “Does this help any?  I’m wearing the Single Ladies outfit I wore last night and dancing to a Carole King song about it being too late?”  again, they laughed, “it sounds to me like I’m making a statement…single ladies?  It’s too late?”  

“Kurt, I understand what you’re saying, but I have to play devil’s advocate here.  Knowing you, I’m sure you’ve analyzed this whole situation and the dreams to death.  You probably have them all listed in separate color-coded compartments in your notebook.  And that’s one thing I absolutely love about you.  You examine every situation from every angle.  But I have to ask you?  Are you sure it’s too late for you and Blaine?”  Javi swallowed hard.  Saying the words almost made him sick, but this wasn’t about Javi; it was about Kurt, his future, his happiness…..well, and Javi’s too, but he had to know for a number of reasons, one being that meeting Kurt’s parents was a huge deal to him.  He couldn’t go to Ohio knowing that Kurt had any real doubts.  If after he met with Blaine and felt differently, they’d cross that bridge, but he had to know that at least for now, Kurt was sure of his feelings for Javi and his lack of feelings for Blaine.

Kurt didn’t know what to say; he was shocked that this sensitive, loving, beautiful man could think he’d even consider such a thing.  After all the conversations and tears, tears he’d cried right here in Javi’s arms over a dead relationship, Javi was still insecure about their relationship.  Then, again, knowing how long and how far Javi had come to arrive here, Kurt by his side….yeah, he guessed he could understand that.  

Kurt fought hard not to cry, “Oh, my love, my precious Javi….no….it was over the day I walked out the door in New York.  It was over when I drove all the way across the country and landed here in San Diego.  It was without a doubt over the night we met.  I could no more leave behind all that we have, that we will have, that I can’t wait for us to have…you would have to lock me out of your house, move back to Mexico forever, tell me this,” Kurt waved his hands at his surroundings,” was all a lie, a mistake….and even then…..Javito, why would I ever leave the one person who seems to think the sun, moon and stars rise and set with me?  No, no, no.”

“Not even as a friend?” Javi managed to ask, his throat still tight.  Kurt half smiled and sighed, “Why would I need a friend who lives 3000 miles away?  Who I haven’t talked to in 2 years?  That betrayed my trust 2 years ago and that I don’t trust now?  Why? “But what if he’s changed?  People can and do change….and for the good.  You were friends once….soulmates, Kurt….” “Javi, I don’t care if he’s become Jesus Christ Superstar!  You are my friend, you are my soulmate now, even you said a person can have more than one in a lifetime.  This isn’t like if Antonio came back into your life or could. Antonio didn’t break your heart…twice!  He didn’t lead you to believe everything was getting better…and then prove to you it wasn’t!”

Kurt turned Javi’s face toward his; the usually forthright Javi couldn’t even look at Kurt while expressing his uncharacteristic insecurities.  “Please, look at me, love, please.  I don’t want or need Blaine as a friend or anything else.  I’m sure he has changed; I have.  Blaine and I are a complication we don’t need, even if you told me being friends with him is fine with you.  It’s not fine with me.  Now, please, kiss me and quit talking like a crazy person.”  He wiped away the tear he saw on Javi’s cheek and kissed him pouring every drop of love he owned into showing him how very much he meant to him.  In the middle of the kiss, he remembered the gift he’d gotten for him and Javi.  

“Let me show you how much you and I mean to me.”  Kurt walked over and opened one of the dresser drawers and returned to sit beside Javi, carrying two jewelry boxes in his hand. He handed one to Javi and asked him to open it.  He looked up at Kurt and then down, opening the box.  Inside was a double-stranded gold necklace, like the one Kurt had been wearing the day they’d Skyped.  He lifted it up, one strand held a key and the other a lock.  It was beautiful.  Kurt opened the other box to reveal an identical necklace and said, “These are symbolic of us.  The keys are to our hearts.  The key on yours opens the lock on mine and this key,” he held up his necklace, “opens the lock on yours.  Does that tell you how very much I want you in my life and how very much I want to be in yours?”  Javi put his necklace on and then took Kurt’s and clasped it around his neck.  Javi nodded and held Kurt to his heart, “Kurt, you don’t need to unlock my heart; you already own it.  It will never be locked away from you.” 

Only a couple more days and he’d be in Lima, walking back into his past.  He hadn’t been there but maybe twice since Kurt left.  His family had never been that close and without Kurt there was no real reason to return.  He’d thought about calling Burt, just to talk, but then he thought better of it.  Burt had been the closest thing to a real father he’d ever had.  Sure, his dad was alive and well, but they just never could relate to each other in a significant way.  This whole reunion idea had been his stepmom’s.  Blaine sighed and laid down on the couch.  He’d gone to a neighborhood party the night before and he was tired.  It had been fun, and he’d probably drank a little too much, but everyone kept asking him about Barry and when he’d be back.  He gave them a vague answer about him returning after Thanksgiving, leaving out the part about his move to LA.  
His mind just wouldn’t leave it alone.  Kurt and his questions.  And what would be Blaine’s answers.  Would they help him….maybe them?  He hated thinking this way.  He knew he wasn’t really in love with Barry anymore, if he ever really was.  He didn’t even miss him very much.  And he was pretty sure Barry felt the same.  If he took him up on the invitation to move to LA it almost certainly would be as friends or whatever.  And did he want to move to LA?  He loved acting and singing.  His dream had always existed in the movies or as a singer/songwriter.  New York and NYADA had just been a means to an end and it had served him well, but he didn’t want to make his life here.  LA was a logical next step.  I don’t have to decide my entire future in a single night, he thought.

And it drove him crazy that he didn’t know what he felt for Kurt.  When Barry had still been in the picture, he barely gave Kurt a second thought and he knew a part of that was because he couldn’t bear what he’d done to him.  He was determined to be a better partner for Barry; he didn’t like the Blaine who had broken the same heart twice.  And he knew Kurt didn’t want or even need to hear his sorries.  But, it was evident he and Barry didn’t want the same things from a relationship.  If Kurt would even consider taking him back, would he want to take that risk…for Kurt’s sake?  And why was he even thinking that way?  It seemed like his mind had been in the past ever since Kurt called.  Why hand Kurt Blaine’s insecurities to deal with all over again?   Honestly?  He couldn’t wait to get back after Thanksgiving to start counseling.  He already had his first appointment set.  Maybe they could still rebuild a friendship?  Surely something was worth salvaging.  Did people who were soulmates suddenly cease to be?  He needed sleep and he knew it.  He turned on the sound of ocean waves and let them wash over his mind and his thoughts.

KLAINE FAN VIDEO – SOULMATE

Javi held Kurt….and held Kurt….and held Kurt…..why was he feeling this way?  And this thoughtful, loving gift? The necklaces were so Kurt!  He knew Kurt loved him and he knew he loved Kurt; no they had not actually said the words, but they both knew why they weren’t saying them…..yet.  It was a bridge you could never uncross.  Kurt had never given him a reason to doubt him or his feelings.  If anything, he just kept affirming them and reaffirming them every day.  He didn’t know why he was feeling this way, but Kurt had said something that reminded him of the gift he wanted to give him before they left for Ohio.  The song he’d written for him….for them.  Finally, he released Kurt and said, “I have a gift for you, too…well, for us, I guess.  What you said about the sun, moon and stars?  It reminded me and I want you to have it before we go to Ohio; I guess that’s one of the reasons I had to say….what I said before.  Anyway, I wrote a song.”  Kurt crossed the room and picked up Javi’s guitar sitting in its stand by the wall; Kurt was trying to learn how to play, too.  Neither he nor Javi were all that great at it, but he figured Javi would want something to accompany himself.  “I called it Between the Sun and Mercury.”  Kurt was curious. Antonio was the Sun and Kurt was Mercury, he knew.  “If you like it, maybe we could learn to sing it together.  There are parts in it for both of us.”

YOU ARE NOT ALONE – MICHAEL JACKSON

BETWEEN THE SUN AND MERCURY
MOON – JAVI : The Sun arose for me

And shone so I could see

I flourished in his light

But he’s not here tonight

MOON – JAVI: You couldn’t say goodbye

 Why did you have to die

The day is now the night

The Moon has lost its sight

MOON – JAVI: I want to take your hand in mine

Let you kiss the tears away

But then I hear your voice inside, it says

SUN – ANTONIO:

The Moon is not alone

The Sun shines in your sky

Though the clouds may hide

The Sun and Moon abide

SUN – ANTONIO:

I’m never far away Just look inside your soul

There my brightness shines

The Moon is always mine

No, you are not alone

SUN – ANTONIO:

You’re shining on your own

Your Mercury found the way

To make his heart your home

So take him in your arms

The heavens you will share

The answer to your prayers

Together you will fly

And shimmer in the sky

SUN – ANTONIO:

So let him take your hand in hisLet him kiss your tears away
Now listen to his voice inside, it says 

MERCURY – KURT:

The Moon is not alone
Mercury lives in you The sky is open wide

The planets still abide
I’m never far away Just look inside your soul

There our brightness shines

The planets now align
No, you are not alone

MERCURY – KURT:

Don’t have to search, cuz I’ll be waiting

Inside your heart, right by your side

By your side!

MOON – JAVI:

The Moon is not alone
Now I live in you

 The sky is open wide

The planets still abide
I’m never far away Just look inside your soul

There our lights combine

The planets now align
No, you are not alone

MOON – JAVI: The Moon is not alone 

SUN – ANTONIO: (The Moon is not alone)

MERCURY – KURT: Now I live in you.  

SUN-ANTONIO: (Mercury lives in you)

MOON – JAVI:  The sky is open wide.

 SUN – ANTONIO: (The sky is open wide)

MERCURY – KURT:  The planets still abide.

 SUN – ANTONIO(The planets still abide)

MOON – JAVI : I’m never far away.  

SUN – ANTONIO : (He’s never far away)

MERCURY – KURT: Just look inside your soul.

 SUN – ANTONIO: (Just look inside your soul)

MOON – JAVI: There our lights combine.

SUN – ANTONIO: (There my brightness shines)

MERCURY – KURT: The planets now align

MERCURY – KURT & MOON – JAVI:  The Moon is not alone. 

SUN – ANTONIO:  (The Moon is not alone)    

Kurt was without words; all he had were tears….that was the most beautiful thing anyone hfgad ever sung for him.  What Javi was saying in that song?  It broke his heart while at the same time gluing it all back together, as if it had never been so horribly scarred, as if Javi’s had never been so horribly scarred.  It was Javi’s journey from his first soulmate, Antonio, to hopefully his last soulmate, Kurt.  Antonio (Sun) was helping Javi (Moon) let go of the bond between them, not just as symbolic heavenly bodies, but as soulmates.  Kurt (Mercury) was being given what Kurt considered the honor of accepting Javi (Moon) as a gift from Antonio (Sun).  Kurt (Mercury) and Javi (Moon) were now free to take up their own place as equals in the skies.  Whereas, Sun and Moon complemented each other, the Moon and Mercury were most like each other of all the planets, equals…soulmates. In a way, it was like the cord of three strands.  Kurt had never viewed Tonio as a rival or as someone to be jealous of just because of the unbreakable bond that had existed between Antonio and Javi.  If anything, he was thankful for him.  None of them knew it at the time, but Antonio was preparing Javi for his relationship with Kurt.  And Javi had put all of that into this beautiful song.

Kurt took the guitar from Javi and laid it carefully back in its case and then he lightly pushed Javi back on the bed.  Neither of them had gotten dressed and they were still wearing only their underwear.  Kurt sat on Javi’s belly and looked at him.  He closed his eyes and slowly began tracing Javi’s face with his fingers, closing Javi’s eyes, too.  He ran his fingers through those blue-black curls, lazily playing with them.  When he was done, he reached for Javi’s face again, saying, “Javier.  Ramos. Ruiz. These are the things I love most about you.  Your eyes because they see far more than I will ever understand.  Your ears because they don’t just hear, they listen.  Your lips because they always try to speak the truth.  But most of all I love your heart because it beats to an invisible rhythm that somehow grounds you in worlds that I have yet to recognize.  And I love your nose because looking at it makes me want to kiss you,” and he did.

He leaned down and tenderly kissed Javi’s lips, then used his eyelashes to kiss his face, soft feathery butterfly kisses, until he reached Javi’s closed eyelids, fluttering his eyelashes over Javi’s own.  How Javi loved those long lashes.  “Open your eyes, mi Javiito, I want to see them turn from brown to black….because that’s what they do when we make love.”  Javi opened his eyes.  Kurt whispered, “Let me make love to you, mi amorcito.  Anyone who would write a song like that for me, for us, deserves a reward…”  Javi started to speak, but Kurt placed a finger over his lips silencing him.  “Shhhh….let me make love to you in silence…except for the sound of your pleasure….I want to hear every sigh….” 
Kurt’s heart was so full.  He lightly kissed Javi’s cheeks, the tip of his nose, again kissing across his left cheek until he found Javi’s ear, nibbling on his earlobe, lightly running his tongue behind his ear seeking that sensitive spot he knew so well.  He paused, taking his time, listening carefully to Javi’s breathing.  He found the scented oil, applying a small drop to his finger.  Again, he took Javi’s earlobe between his teeth, playing….as he slipped the oiled finger behind the opposite ear.  Listening to Javi’s sighs, he grasped his curls, still playing with one of his earlobes, letting his tongue speak without words.  Gently and idly he wandered Javi’s face, stopping at his chin and then his lips, flirting, caressing his way down his neck, Javi expressing his pleasure, repeating Kurt’s nicknames between yeses and quiet moans, “Mi Kurtito…..oh, yes, yessss….my Mercury…..don’t stop….there, yesss….yes there…”  There and there continually changing as Kurt used his hands, his tongue, his lips to express his love and desire, gently, slowly, in the velvety silence, punctuated only by Javi’s barely audible murmurs.  When Kurt had traversed Javi’s sensually talkative body right down to his toes, he stretched out beside him, turning Javi’s face to his and kissed him gently while running his hand over his chest and belly loving the feel of his skin.  When he opened his eyes, he smiled and whispered, “Your eyes are black as the night sky mi Moon, mi Luna… Javito…roll over….”  Silently, he turned onto his stomach.  When Kurt was sure Javi was comfortable, again, he reached for the oil pouring a generous amount into his hands.  He was no masseur, but he would do his best, remembering what he’d learned from Javi the night before, discovering even more about Javi’s body, his likes and dislikes.  He followed Javi’s lead starting with his feet and slowly making his way up, very quietly listening to Javi’s instructions on where and what satisfied his wants and needs.  As he finished massaging his neck, he used a finger to trace some of the oil into Javi’s lips as he lay with his head turned.  He kissed that side of his face again, barely nibbling his lips, whispering in his ear, “Raise your hips, mi amor…”  Javi, like Kurt had the night before, considered the words before complying with Kurt’s request.  

And just like Javi, Kurt whispered, “If this isn’t working for you let me know, love.”  Kurt pushed the comforter aside, not wanting to get oil on it.  Since Javi only had bikinis on and not a thong, he slid his oily hands underneath the briefs allowing himself to enjoy the feel of Javi’s muscled ass, closing his eyes, massaging slowly and steadily, still paying close attention to Javi’s breathing and murmurs.  He moved his hands as close as he dared to his balls….hearing Javi’s gasp, his moans….sliding his hands free, he poured a very liberal amount of oil into his hands and at first using both hands, one under the other, he cradled Javi’s cock in his hand as Javi relaxed into his hands.  Allowing the oil to soak Javi’s bikinis, he slid the other hand back, skimming his balls, with his fingers, playing just as Javi had, discovering what his lover enjoyed.  He felt Javi moving to his own rhythm in Kurt’s hand as Kurt tightened his hand slightly, Javi increasing the pace.  Kurt closed his eyes again, enjoying the feel of his shaft in his hands, cradling his balls, clothed though they were, the abundance of oil creating a greater degree of sensuality.  As he felt Javi’s body tense, he kept his eyes closed wanting to absorb these moments, listening to Javi’s moans, feeling him press harder against Kurt’s hand, sinking to the bed as he came.  The wet warmth was intoxicating for Kurt.  As Javi’s breathing slowed, he opened his eyes and found Kurt laying beside him, watching him.  “Dios mi, you’re going to kill me with your lovemaking.”  

Kurt brushed the unruly curls aside, smiling into Javi’s eyes.  “There are worse ways to die, bebe.”  Javi reached for Kurt and kissed him, slowly drawing his lips away and whispering still just close enough for their lips to touch, “Let me see if I can kill you with mine…” he pulled Kurt against his body until nothing was between them, maintaining his kiss, deepening the kiss, stoking the fire that he knew was still burning in Kurt. As Kurt relaxed into the kiss, letting his desire and pleasure be known, pressing himself tightly against Javi.  He felt Javi’s hand move down his thigh and across his leg…..”Mmmmmmm…..,”  he kissed Javi with a mindless passion and gasped when he felt his hand reach between his legs, drawing one finger from the base of his balls all the way up to the head of his cock, stroking lightly, as Kurt parted his legs to give him better access.  Javi hadn’t been sure if there was still enough oil but there was more than enough.  Kurt begged with his desperate hard-on, his lips never leaving Javi’s as Javi returned the kiss, allowing Kurt to first massage himself against Javi’s belly, then taking Kurt’s cock into his hand.  “Javi…..I want you….always…..I want you…please…” he could hardly contain himself as he rolled on top of Javi, his tongue pleading for more of Javi’s mouth, lying on top of Javi pressing against Javi’s hand and belly taking up an insistent rhythm, steadily faster, pressing harder until his body finally released him from the exquisite torture of passion.  He rested his head in the crook between Javi’s shoulder and neck.  

No, there was no one he wanted or needed more than the man who lay beneath him.  This man who had taught him more about love and life in the few months they had known each other than anyone ever had.  Than anyone had ever cared to.  He knew that their life together wouldn’t always feel this idyllic, this perfect, this….all the thises that it was.  He knew all of that.  Life had taught him early on how difficult it could be.  But he, they, had taken that risk with eyes open from the very beginning.  Kurt didn’t have to wonder how he would deal with Blaine if indeed that dream was right.  No one was going to jeopardize what he and Javi had, not if he could help it and he could, he would.  

H