CHAPTER 55 – THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES – LIMA

CHAPTER 55 – THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES – LIMA

Thanksgiving was purely an American holiday for Javi.  He understood the history behind it and certainly setting aside a day to be thankful was not a bad idea, but for him being thankful was just part of his everyday life.  It had been instilled in him since childhood and even on those days when there seemed to be absolutely nothing to be thankful for, he was thankful for his life.  And today?  Every single thing he was thankful for lay in a room just down the hall.  Most of the preparations had been made yesterday so everyone, including the main cook, could sleep in.  After Javi took a shower and got dressed, he padded down to Kurt’s room barefoot and knocked on the door.  Kurt beckoned him to come in.  No one really dressed up for Thanksgiving at Kurt’s house, but that hadn’t stopped them from wearing something a little more festive than jeans and a shirt.  Javi wore a yellow and black plaid button-up over a long-sleeved black shirt and black pants made of some shiny material that Kurt was unsure of.  His curls were dotted with gold sparkles.  Kurt sported a deep purple shirt with gold snap buttons, a white cardigan sweater that hung to just above his knees and black belted pleated pants.  Both had traded in their tight pants for something a little more parent-friendly, not that Burt and Carole would have cared.  They didn’t care what Kurt wore; he was home and that was all that mattered.

Thanksgiving had become a bittersweet holiday in the Hummel household; well, almost every holiday was, but Thanksgiving and Christmas were the most difficult.  They were always a reminder that one extremely important person was missing and that was Finn.  Kurt had told Javi all about Finn, all the way back to when he had a crush on him in high school, how Kurt had played matchmaker for Carole and Burt to get closer to Finn, how the families had come together and Finn’s tragic death.  There were reminders of him everywhere and not just in the framed photos scattered throughout the house.  It hadn’t been that long ago that Finn would have been right here with them, welcoming Javi, and they were still a house in mourning.  

Before they went downstairs, drawn by the aroma of a feast in the making, Javi went back to his room, returning with a gift-wrapped box.  Kurt laughed and said, “Oh, Javito!  You shouldn’t have!”  Javi smiled and said, “I didn’t!  This is for Carole.”  Kurt leaned over and whispered, “You do know my parents can’t be bought, right?”  “Well, why not?  I bought you didn’t I?  And you were verrrryyy cheap!”  “Oh, but you have no idea how much I’m going to cost you in the long run, sabeltodo (smart ass)!”

Downstairs, they found Burt and Carole in the kitchen, sipping coffee while waiting for the next step in meal preparation to present itself.  Javi leaned down and kissed Carol on the left cheek, “For you, mi anfitriona con el mas; hostess with the mostest, in English.  But Kurt tells me you can’t be bought.”  She looked up at Kurt and asked, “Who says?”  She laughed and opened the gift trying not to tear the paper.  Inside was a beautiful Waterford cut crystal picture frame.  No one had to wonder why Javi would give Carole such a gift.  It was something she would never buy for herself and it would give her something extra special in which to display a picture of her lost son.  She stood up, trying not to cry, giving Javi a hug, “Don’t listen to Kurt, I hear he comes pretty cheap!” And they all laughed.  

Once they’d all taken their places around the dining room table, Burt noticed that Javi was bowing his head, assuming he was probably going to say his own silent prayer.  Both his mother and Kurt’s mom had done the same, never self-conscious but not wanting to force something so personal on others.  So, before they started, he turned to Javi and asked, “Javi, would you please say a blessing?”  Kurt looked over at his father and Burt offered him the same direct gaze that he often found in his son’s eyes and kept silent.  They all bowed their heads and Javi offered up a blessing for the meal, all who had helped prepare it and for the people and home that had welcomed him, naming them including Kurt.  Burt began passing dishes, first to Carole and they circled the table.  The chatter was warm, friendly, homey….catching up on all kinds of things, jobs, school, neighbors, extended family.  Everyone seemed at ease with everyone else and Kurt gave an inward sigh and in his head thanked whomever for how well everything had gone so far.  Kurt and Javi insisted on doing the dishes and told Carole she was no longer welcome in the kitchen, at least not until they were done.

Across town, the Anderson reunion was in full swing.  And despite all the crowded rooms and noise, Blaine was truly enjoying himself.  His family had always been a bit of a conundrum to him.  He searched his memory for any events in his past with his dad when they had actually been close.  The only thing he could think of that they had in common was a love of football and there had been a few football Sunday parties at their house, but beyond that, they shared nothing.  After his parents had divorced, he had to admit his father had tried, but he always seemed to be too busy with work and travel to find much time for his only son.  Probably why their marriage had failed Blaine had always thought.  And once he told his dad he was gay, well….he didn’t seem particularly upset about it, but he also seemed to put even more distance between them.  That’s one of the reasons why he’d grown close to Burt Hummel.  Despite his reservations and his fears for his own son, he had done everything he could to understand and help Kurt along a very rocky road.  He wondered if he and Kurt became any semblance of friends again, if Burt might feel comfortable following his lead.  

Today, he’d talked to probably 50 people not including all the kids, and had some real conversations with a few.  He even found out he had a first cousin who was gay and they’d spent the better part of the day just talking about what it was like for each other and some of the issues they’d had to deal with where each of them lived.  Nate lived in Chicago.  In some ways it seemed it wasn’t much different from New York City, except as Nate pointed out, large as Chicago was there was still the Midwestern mentality to deal with, not everyone of course, but enough.  He was working as an architect, but his first love was the arts, painting in particular.  He’d try any medium and actually had had some commercial success with oils and charcoals.  This was a pleasant surprise for both of them and they exchanged cell numbers.  As the day turned into evening, the house slowly emptied until finally it was just him, his dad and his stepmom, Debbie.  He helped them clean up and put chairs and tables back where they belonged.  It had been an enjoyable but tiring day.  And back to being just the 3 of them, as usual, they didn’t have much to say to each other, so they all went to their bedrooms to watch TV or read or listen to music, anything to avoid a real conversation it seemed.

As Blaine got under the covers, he grabbed his earbuds and let the music take his mind wherever it wanted.  He thought about texting Kurt and just saying Happy Thanksgiving, but he decided against it.  If he was going to get anywhere with Kurt, he knew it would have to be on Kurt’s terms, at least initially.  He’d asked his cousin, Nate, if he’d be interested in going to Breadsticks with him the following night and he seemed to be glad to be doing something other than spend more time with family, so unless Nate backed out, he’d be going.  He closed his eyes; soon he’d be back in New York and one day closer to graduation.  Hopefully closer to knowing what he really wanted to do with his life.

The week had passed so quickly!  Here it was Friday already.  Javi and Kurt would be leaving late afternoon tomorrow.  Kurt was looking forward to their Gleek reunion.  He hadn’t seen Rachel for at least a year; she was still having some success on Broadway and living her dream.  He’d met up with Puck and Mercedes once since he’d been in California and they’d be there.  He wished all of them could be there, but they’d scattered all over the place since graduation.  He’d heard Artie and Tina might be there.  He still wasn’t sure what their relationship was, but maybe he’d find out tonight.  Even the people who couldn’t make it would be topics of discussion…well, probably more like gossip.  They’d reserved a room at Breadsticks so their get together could be more private.

Kurt and Javi had decided for tonight they were going to pull out all the stops in the clothing department.  Why not?  They were leaving tomorrow; leaving Lima with something to talk about was too tempting not to try.  Kurt opened the closet.  He stripped down to his underwear and began building his ensemble.  A deep blue form fitting silk shirt with silver snaps for buttons.  The silver snaps also dotted the length of one sleeve and a Nehru collar.  His black leather pants, just as form fitting, had identical snaps running the length of the seams of each pant leg.  His ankle high boots were the same shade of black as the pants.  If it hadn’t been so cold he would have left it at that, but he’d borrowed one of Javi’s one-button jackets, black fading into blue fading into green to complete the outfit.  As he was finishing, Javi walked up behind him, turning him around to face him.  “If we were in San Diego, I wouldn’t let you out of the house looking that hot, mi amor!  We’d be staying in so I could slowly remove all of those beautiful clothes and take every single advantage of you!”  Kurt smiled into Javi’s eyes and said, “I think Lima will be talking about you for a very long time, mi Javi!  It isn’t often, well…make that probably never, that a man walks into Breadsticks wearing a fuchsia coat and pants studded with bumble bees and a pale pink hat.  If it was summer and you wore that without a shirt like you usually do, we may be run out of town!”  “And I wouldn’t be wearing this shirt if it wasn’t so cold here!”  “Oh, I know, I know, mi amor!”  To accommodate Midwestern mores and the frozen climate, Javi wore a pale pink silk shirt fashioned just like Kurt’s underneath the one-button jacket, and all of it tailored to fit him like a glove.  He also wore black boots.

It hadn’t warmed up any since they’d arrived, but at least they hadn’t had any snow.  Kurt hated driving in snow.  Javi was a little disappointed since he rarely saw snow, but he wasn’t going to miss the taste of an Ohio winter this trip had provided.  As they were about to get out of the car, Kurt squeezed Javi’s hand and gave him a long kiss.  “Thank you…for coming here, doing all of this.”  “Don’t be silly, mi amor.  Meeting new people is part of my life and all of these people are very important to you.  You would do the same for me, I know.  Now, let’s go show Lima California Kurt!”  

The warmth and tantalizing smells of Breadsticks welcomed them.  Kurt knew they’d reserved a private room, so they went in search of it.  It didn’t take long to find it; between the laughter and chatter of familiar voices, Kurt knew exactly where the party was.  As he and Javi stood inside the door, Rachel saw them and ran over to Kurt giving him a bearhug.  Their unlikely friendship had carried them through high school and to New York where they’d shared an apartment.  He missed her and they texted or even talked sometimes and he hadn’t seen her for at least a year.  So, how was this long-distance friendship any different from having one with Blaine?, he thought as she hugged him.  Why was he even thinking that?  There was no comparing them.  He hadn’t almost married Rachel!  

After Kurt introduced Javi to Rachel, she took Kurt by the sleeve and led them to a group of people standing by the buffet table.  They hadn’t brought out the food yet, so Rachel took the lead as Rachel always did, introducing Javi to all of the friends that had managed to make it back to Lima.  Everyone already knew that Kurt had a new boyfriend, the Gleek text links between them were faster than the Concorde, especially when it came to the latest gossip.  They may be friends, but Glee Club had never been above passing on juicy gossip!  Javi was his usual friendly self, kissing the girls on the left cheek, shaking hands with the guys.  He didn’t think kissing them on the right cheek as was the custom in Mexico would be appropriate for this situation.  Kurt tried to discreetly look around for Blaine, but either he wasn’t coming or he just hadn’t arrived.  

“Wow, Kurt!  Who dressed you tonight, Joshua Christensen?”  Leave it to Artie to be the first to mention his clothing choices.  Anyone who knew anything about California fashion designers knew who Joshua Christensen was.  Puck came to his rescue saying, “Actually, I wanted to wear JC’s latest creation myself, but it was at the cleaners!”  Everyone laughed knowing Puck didn’t care who designed his clothes as long as it showed off the hours he spent in the gym.  Kurt said, “If I’m not mistaken I think Javi’s wearing one of his latest creations!”  He took Javi’s hand and he shook his head at Kurt smiling.  

In the time they talked the buffet had been set up, so they grabbed some plates, each finding a chair at one of the tables that could seat ten.  So far, the group included Rachel, Mercedes, Artie, Tina, Puck, Quinn, Lauren and Sugar.  Even Mr. Schue and Emma had shown up!  About five minutes after they sat down, Blaine arrived with someone no one knew.  Was Blaine in a relationship that hadn’t boarded the Concorde?  Surely not or it had happened within the last 24 hours.  Blaine introduced his cousin, Nate, not hearing the silent sigh of relief from his fellow Gleeks.  The Concorde had not failed them.  They made room for them at the table and continued their various conversations, including Blaine and Nate without missing a beat.

Everybody had been asked to bring their favorite memories of Finn.  Kurt had checked ahead of time with Rachel.  He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.  She was happy someone had thought to do something like that.  Everyone knew if Finn had lived, he and Rachel would most likely be married by now and he’d be sitting right here with them.  It was hard on all of them, but more so for Kurt, Rachel and Puck.  Finn and Puck had been best friends since before high school.  They shared their stories, no one really trying to hold back the tears.  

The group just naturally slipped into discussions of music and memories of the songs they’d loved most.  There was a small makeshift stage in the room, a guitar sitting in a stand and a piano.  Everyone at Breadsticks knew where there was a Glee Club gathering, people would be singing.  And when Mercedes sang her latest release, several of the customers from the other rooms wandered in to listen.  No one minded; what singer didn’t want a larger audience?  Puck and Quinn sang a duet.  Kurt had heard they’d finally stopped circling the love that had existed since their freshman year and were now living together in California, too.  Even Mr. Schue attempted his version of rapping for them and when he came back to the table a little out of breath, he said, “How about if we hear from our new friend from south of the border?  I’ve heard Kurt’s been giving him some pointers!”  Everybody laughed, but Javi hadn’t expected this at all; it had never occurred to him that they might ask him to sing.

Javi looked at Kurt like, “What do you want me to do?”  Kurt smiled and just gave him a slight nod.  “Kurtito, what should I sing?”  he whispered.  “What do you mean, what should you sing?  You have a lifetime repertoire of songs,” he whispered.  He thought it rather humorous considering what Javi had done to him on Halloween at The Rafters.  “Sing with me….please, mi amor?  Maybe the song we practiced just before we left.  The one I wrote for you…for us…your friends can always watch me sing in Spanish anywhere on the internet.  The one I wrote, it’s one of the few I wrote in English, hoping we might be able to sing it together sometime, but….”  Kurt knew it wouldn’t be difficult to sing, the words and the rhythms had been very easy to learn, but it was such an intimate and personal song; still he wouldn’t give it a second thought if Blaine wasn’t here.  He knew he shouldn’t care but he didn’t want to deliberately hurt his feelings.  He looked directly into Javi’s eyes, “What about Blaine, I mean that song….I don’t want to hurt his feelings.”  “Mi amor, I understand what you’re saying, but if he really wants to be just your friend then he’s going to have to get used to you and me as a couple sometime.”  Kurt thought about it and then nodded, “You’re right, absolutely right.”  “Okay, let’s go sing.”

As Javi rose, so did Kurt.  He explained to his friends what Javi had just said.  That they could hear him sing in Spanish on their phones; he was all over Youtube.  They had decided to sing together, a song that Javi had written for him and Kurt.  They walked up to the front of the room and onto the makeshift stage.  Javi grabbed the guitar and looked out at the table filled with Kurt’s friends and the rest of the crowd that had gathered. 

“Um, I wasn’t really prepared for this, but thank you.  As Kurt explained you can listen to me sing Spanish anywhere and feel free, I can never have too many fans.”  There was a smattering of laughter.  “But I usually write songs with lyrics and rhythms for the Spanish language.  This is a song I wrote recently, for Kurt and me, and someone who was once very dear to me.  Sadly, he is no longer with us, but when he was, our friends called us the Sun and Moon mostly because of our temperaments – he could be very fiery and I always seemed to be the softer light that balanced us.  We sang together for many years.  Then when Kurt came along….” he looked over at Kurt like he was almost at a loss for what to say, “I started calling him Mercury because the Moon and Mercury are the two planets most alike.  So, I’ll be singing the parts for both the Sun and Moon and Kurt’ll be singing the parts for Mercury.  It’s called Between the Sun and Mercury.”

YOU ARE NOT ALONE – MICHAEL JACKSON

BETWEEN THE SUN AND MERCURY
MOON – JAVI: The Sun arose for me

And shone so I could see

I flourished in his light

But he’s not here tonight

MOON – JAVI: You couldn’t say goodbye

 Why did you have to die

The day is now the night

The Moon has lost its sight

MOON-JAVI:

I want to take your hand in mine

Let you kiss the tears away
But then I hear your voice inside, it says

SUN – ANTONIO:

The Moon is not alone

The Sun shines in your sky

Though the clouds may hide

The Sun and Moon abide

SUN – ANTONIO:

I’m never far away Just look inside your soul

There my brightness shines

The Moon is always mine

No, you are not alone

SUN – ANTONIO:

You’re shining on your own

Your Mercury found the way

To make his heart your home

So take him in your arms

The heavens you will share

The answer to your prayers

Together you will fly

And shimmer in the sky

SUN – ANTONIO:

So let him take your hand in his

Let him kiss your tears away
Now listen to his voice inside, it says 

MERCURY – KURT:

The Moon is not alone
Mercury lives in you The sky is open wide

The planets still abide
I’m never far away Just look inside your soul

There our brightness shines

The planets now align
No, you are not alone

MERCURY – KURT: Don’t have to search, cuz I’ll be waiting

Inside your heart, right by your side

By your side!

MOON – JAVI:

The Moon is not alone
Now I live in you

 The sky is open wide

The planets still abide
I’m never far away Just look inside your soul

There our lights combineThe planets now align

No, you are not alone

MOON – JAVI: The Moon is not alone 

SUN – ANTONIO : (The Moon is not alone)

MERCURY – KURT: Now I live in you.  

SUN- ANTONIO: (Mercury lives in you)

MOON – JAVI:  The sky is open wide.

 SUN – ANTONIO: (The sky is open wide)

MERCURY – KURT:  The planets still abide. 

SUN – ANTONIO: (The planets still abide)

MOON – JAVI: I’m never far away. 

 SUN – ANTONIO: (He’s never far away)

MERCURY – KURT: Just look inside your soul. 

SUN – ANTONIO: (Just look inside your soul)

MOON – JAVI: There our lights combine.

SUN – ANTONIO: There my brightness shines)

MERCURY – KURT: The planets now align 

MERCURY – KURT & MOON – JAVI:  The Moon is not alone. 

SUN – JAVI:  (The Moon is not alone)    

As they began exchanging verses, it was like the world around them disappeared.  Kurt had to hold his emotions in check just to get through it.  He hadn’t planned on any of this either.  When they had finished, the expression “you could have heard a pin drop” defined the moment.  And then suddenly everyone was clapping and cheering and Kurt realized he’d taken Javi’s hand somewhere in the midst of their singing.  They thanked their audience and returned to their seats still holding hands.  

As Blaine watched, he began to fully realize what it might mean to be friends with Kurt.  That song had gone straight through his heart just like the one he’d listened to Javi sing on Youtube.  And the Sun had been his former partner.  It was a song about Javi’s journey from one love to another.  He made himself stay exactly where he was, trying not to show a reaction except to join the clapping.  When Kurt had told him this was serious, he hadn’t been wrong.  It was.  What was it going to be like watching Kurt and Javi together in any situation?  He wasn’t sure, but if it felt like this every time…..he didn’t know and he couldn’t make any rational decisions in the middle of a party.  He looked at Nate.  He’d given him the background on him and Kurt.  Even though they’d only met yesterday, Nate wasn’t blind, “Do you wanna leave, Blaine…or go get some air or something?”  Blaine shook his head.  “No….no.”  

And then Javi was saying, “We haven’t heard from Blaine tonight and I know for a fact that he has his own songs in there somewhere; I for one would like to hear one of his originals.”  The group and the crowd would no more let Blaine off the hook than they had Javi.  Blaine was caught off guard, just like Javi had been.  He had to think fast; he didn’t want to get up there and sing anything that might remind him or them of Blaine’s past relationship with Kurt; other than Rachel, he was pretty sure that none of them knew the real story of their breakup, only that they’d been apart for two years.  He didn’t want them feeling sorry for him, so he decided on what he’d sing as he walked to the stage and took the guitar in his hand.  The song he’d chosen was called “Human” and it was one of those songs like “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.”  Lyrics to make you smile.

As Kurt listened he thought of how very Blaine this song was.  Whenever Kurt was down, Blaine would make up one of these songs to try to make him smile.  Kurt knew he had a tendency to take life too seriously and he’d always appreciated Blaine’s trying so hard to draw him back out into the sun.  How had their world become so complicated?  As he sang the last few notes, again the room erupted in claps and cheers and he sat down next to Nate.  

It was getting late and almost everyone was leaving tomorrow to return to whatever their real worlds looked like, some looking forward to it more than others.  As Kurt hugged everyone goodbye, he noticed Mr. Schue had pulled Javi aside.  They seemed to be in a semi-serious discussion.  He waited until they were done and then hugged Mr. Schue and Emma before heading home.  

When they got in the car, Kurt asked what they’d been discussing.  Javi replied, “He asked me if I’d like to come back and teach a workshop on the Latinx culture as it relates to music at the school maybe next spring.”  “What did you say?”  “I said I’d talk it over with you and get back to him.”  Kurt hid his smile.  Javi knew that when it came to the nitty gritty of life, Kurt hated surprises and he tried to talk even the smallest decisions over with him if he could.  Kurt started the car and they were back at the house within 10 minutes.

When they got inside, a lamp was left on for them, but the house was quiet.  Everything was packed so that they could spend a few hours with Burt and Carole before driving to Fort Wayne and returning to the warmer climes of California.  Kurt went to the kitchen and returned with some fresh coffee as Javi tossed his hat on a chair, removed his coat and shoes, getting comfortable.  Carole seemed to think of everything.  After Kurt sat down, Javi took his hand and said, “Mi Kurtito, I’m sorry about tonight.  I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that.  I should’ve just picked a song I could cover or something.  It wasn’t fair asking that you make a snap decision like that.”

Kurt did what had become almost an unconscious habit.  He reached for the curls on Javi’s brow and gently touched his cheek with his other hand. “It’s okay.  You were right in what you said.  And the same logic applies to me.  If I want to be Blaine’s friend, and that’s still a big if, I can’t be walking on eggshells all the time wondering how he’s going to react to you and me acting like a normal couple.  And you shouldn’t have to be concerned that things we say and do together might upset me or Blaine as it relates to a friendship.  That’s not being Blaine’s friend and it’s not being a real lover and friend to you.  Blaine is the one who wants a friendship; I’m still not sure it’s a good idea.  It’s up to him to convince me.  And what you did tonight was very nice, encouraging him to sing.  You did it to take his mind off me, off us, and the song, didn’t you?”  “Yeah, in some ways, I did.  I’m not sure myself how I feel about a friendship between you and him either.  As he pointed out in his song, I’m only human.  I’m not above jealousy and my own weaknesses.  I really do like Blaine, at least what I’ve known of him so far.  But if it comes to a choice between hurting him or hurting you, I’m obviously not going to choose you.”

“You won’t have to, Javi, never.  I would never intentionally put you in that position.” Javi wrapped his arms around Kurt, holding him close.  If there was one thing Javi knew with certainty, Kurt was his and he was Kurt’s, and Kurt would sooner hurt himself than hurt Javi.  He didn’t think he’d ever stop wondering how or why this man, the one with kaleidoscope eyes, the one with an imagination that knew no limits, the one who’d appeared in his pitch black night sky of a life to become his Mercury, had fallen as much in love with Javi as Javi had with him.  And tomorrow night they’d be home, not just his home anymore but their home.  He loved Kurt more than he thought he’d ever love someone again.  But there were still some obstacles and challenges to overcome before he’d feel comfortable telling him that; they’d just approached one of them.  Whether they could hurdle what lay ahead remained to be seen.