Dear readers: If this chapter confuses you it’s because there is an intentional mystery in it. Even my beta didn’t get it the first couple times she read it. Never fear, the mystery will be revealed in future chapters.
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Cassie sat alone on the boat dock dangling her feet in the cool water, gazing out at the early morning activity in Heritage Lake marina. The idea that only a few hours earlier she’d been sleeping peacefully beside him made her both happy and sad all at the same time. The lingering headache was a not so subtle reminder that it hadn’t taken much to get them drunk…..at 16, parties like the one they’d attended last night were the exception not the norm.
They’d arrived at about 7:30 or so, their own contribution to the pilfered selection of bottles and 6-packs in hand, transferring the two bottles of wine and cold 6-pack of Miller Lite into the hands of their host. The party was in full swing and within seconds they were surrounded by their friends, singing off-key and dancing badly, none of them caring one whit about it either. Most of the night they’d spent squeezed into a corner of one of the rec room couches attempting conversation with each other and the friends and strangers scattered on the blue-carpeted floor, the music drowning out most of their words. Leaning in closer so he wouldn’t have to shout, he said, “Would you like to dance?” She smiled, nodding her head so she wouldn’t have to say anything over the beat of the thumping bass. However, in this crowd, dancing was definitely a misnomer as it seemed the best they could do was stand in place swaying to the music, sort of like swimming upstream, she thought.
They’d known each other since eighth grade and had become fast friends….best friends as it would turn out. He’d gotten her through the breakup of her first serious relationship…..raising her brown eyes to meet the blue of the sky, she shook her head at the memory and grinned. She had to laugh at the thought that the month long relationship with Brad was something she’d once considered serious. He’d held her hand and let her soak his shoulder in tears for the whole two days it had taken to get over Brad. They’d never dated, although he was always there if she needed or wanted someone to accompany her to some social event or another. Mostly, the group they ran with wasn’t into dating anyone seriously. For most of them, it was just more fun to spend time with each other. They reasoned they had plenty of time for relationships in college or even after college. None of them were in any hurry to pair up.
For as long as she could remember, this resort had been home for at least a month every summer, usually July, sometimes August. The resort’s rental cabins were roomy A-frames, the ideal place to relax and recharge their batteries before the start of school and to avoid thinking about the inevitability of winter in just a few short months.
The number of families varied year to year, sometimes requiring two or even three cabins, but they were all huddled side by side and never far from the beach. Swimming, boating, windsurfing, kitesurfing….there was always plenty to do, but one of their favorite things to do was picnic, sometimes alone, sometimes with their other friends, but they loved sharing the beach alone in the morning before most everyone else was up and ready to start their day.
They’d pack a small basket the night before filled with protein bars or egg muffins, some fruit, maybe some mini bagels and cream cheese and juice boxes. Tiptoeing quietly out the door, hoping not to wake the others, they’d leave before 5:00 to hopefully catch the sunrise. She’d tell him about who had a crush on who (like he didn’t already know) and they’d laugh about all the things that that couple did or didn’t have in common. He’d tell her what his plans were after high school….sometimes they’d change from week to week…..but emphasizing that he was going to get as far away from the Midwest as he could. They’d both complain about their parents and how they couldn’t wait to graduate. College was a foregone conclusion for both of them, not because they were particularly interested in college, but because in their parents’ dreams for them college was a must. No matter that neither planned on following their parents’ dreams.
The sound of a boat skimming across the lake, creating waves, causing the dock to sway, brought her thoughts back to the present. Their parents had taken an overnight trip the night before. As far as she knew they’d never once missed the day-long music festival. The genre might change from year to year, but that’s why they never missed! Music was music, they said, from big band to rap, they loved it all! Unlike most of her friends, she could never say her parents were stuck in their ways…or his either….at least when it came to music, she guessed.
When they’d been younger, they’d ask other cabin dwellers to take them in for the night, but last year they’d decided that they were old enough to stay by themselves, with one exception. Of course their parents were not oblivious to the mischief that teens could and most likely would get up to in their absence, and they were well aware of the weekend parties……but always supervised by chaperones (the so out-of-date word always accompanied by eye rolls from the two of them). In fact, their parents had been their “keepers” as they liked to call it on more than one occasion. But they’d struck a deal with the two. They could stay at the cabin alone while they were gone, but if they went to a party, they were supposed to sleep there overnight.
And they’d never really meant to go back on that promise…..not really….until last night. In hindsight, she could blame it on the booze clouding what little judgment they had left when they’d headed back to their own cabin, she could rationalize how it couldn’t hurt as long as no one ever knew…..if their “keepers” had noticed they would have come knocking at the door and drug them back to the party cabin, probably accompanied by stern warnings….but they hadn’t….for whatever reason they hadn’t.
But deep down she knew the truth. She’d wanted it to happen. It had been in the back of her mind ever since they’d arrived at the lake…and why he hadn’t insisted they stay where they’d promised she’d never know….she didn’t want to know….and she’d never ask him.
“Come on,” she’d whispered as they stood on the deck, the cool, but humid breeze blowing her hair out of her face, “it’s only a few feet away. I don’t want to stay here tonight,” citing that the idea of sleeping in a room filled with inebriated friends, collapsed over couches or chairs or on the floor was far less appealing than sleeping in their own beds.
All night she’d been watching him carefully, but he hadn’t seemed to notice. He’d been talking to…well, mostly yelling…..at Cooper and Sabrina, who’d managed to find a few square inches of space on the floor. Cassie had feigned an interest in the topic of conversation, the upcoming swimming and boating competitions that the resort hosted to close out the summer season, but with each sip of the cheap wine she was drinking, the more her mind seemed to focus on him.
She loved him so much….but she wasn’t in love with him nor was he in love with her. But they knew they could tell each other anything, no topic seemed to be off limits. Sometimes she wished they were in love. She couldn’t imagine anything better than spending her life with him. Over the years, they’d jokingly talked about just such an inevitability, both knowing it was just talk. They’d exchange ideas about what their perfect life partner would be like….and then find it hysterical when sometimes it seemed they were describing each other.
She still remembered the day she’d finally gotten up the nerve to ask him a question she’d longed to ask since she was 13. They’d actually been sitting right here on this dock, playfully splashing water on each other, pointing out when they saw a fish bubble to the surface or comment on the game of beach volleyball that was being played not far from them. He’d been holding her hand as he often did and her hands felt sweaty to her, but he didn’t seem to care.
Ever since the day “she became of woman,” her mother using the old-fashioned phrase, she’d been thinking about asking him, hoping he wouldn’t laugh or think it was weird. Well, she conceded, it did sound kind of weird, but not if she was given a chance to explain her reasoning. Of course, it was still far in the future but….she’d turned to him with an earnest look on her face and squeezed his hand to draw his attention away from the volleyball game. “Can I ask you something?” she’d ventured, unsure how to continue, but needing to ask nonetheless. “Of course! Well, unless it’s will I eat liver and onions or will I run off to Alaska with you,” he’d replied, flashing that gorgeous smile her way.
Smiling herself, she looked away for a moment, gathering her courage, her eyes settling on the lake where the opposite shore met the horizon. “When the time comes,” geez! it sounded like she was asking him to plan her funeral! She cleared her throat, trying again, as the look on his face turned more quizzical.
“I want you to be my first,” she blurted out, her cheeks flaming red in the process. “Your first?” he wasn’t getting it. “Yeah,” she lowered her eyes and then met his again, “You know….my first…the first one….” Finally! He finally understood what she was asking, “Me?” He squeaked out, “But….”
She sighed and looked away again, holding his hand even more tightly, “Okay, I know it sounds weird, but I want it to be with someone I know I can trust, someone that I know really loves me, not something in the heat of the moment…..and I don’t want to wait until I’m married. I think it’s unfair to not have some idea of what….it’s…..like, to bring some experience to a marriage. I mean if you’re going to spend your whole life with one person, it’s a pretty important thing to know something….” she knew she was babbling, but couldn’t seem to stop herself.
“Cassie,” he said, “I’m…um, honored, I guess, that you would ask me that, but…” “Look, I know what you’re going to say and it doesn’t matter to me. I know I can trust you with….that….and I know you’re not going to tell all the guys about it either, because that’s not you. We love each other, right? That’s more important to me than….the other part…. “You mean you don’t lust after this gorgeous hunk of a man?” he said, flexing his muscles and smiling, hoping to break the tension. She barely smiled, “Be serious,” she said, then hesitated. The ensuing silence seemed to go on forever, until she finally forced the words out, “So, will you? Be my first?”
He looked at her for a very long time before answering, taking in all of her, seeing her as the woman she was becoming and not the girl she’d been when they met. Any guy would be thrilled to have her ask this question of him, but he wasn’t any guy. Any other guy would probably suggest they find a secluded spot right now! But again he wasn’t any other guy, which is precisely why she’d asked him. “Let me think about it, okay?” he saw her face fall, “Cassie, it’s not that I don’t want to say yes, but that’s one of the reasons you asked me and not someone else, right? I don’t take this lightly even for a second. Look at me. Yes, I love you. I don’t even have to think twice about that part….I just don’t want either of us to regret it. I don’t want to lose your friendship over this. And there’s no guarantee that “we” won’t change if we do this.”
It wasn’t that she hadn’t thought of that and she knew he was right, so she squeezed his hand again, tried to smile and simply said, “Okay.”
As she continued to observe him, the party seeming to go on without her, she was reminded that over the ensuing years they’d talked about it as if it was a foregone conclusion, as if he’d already decided…sometimes they even laughed about it, talking about how they would do this or that or say this or that….and he’d never actually come out and said, “Yes, I’ll be your first,” she reasoned, but neither had he said something like, “Okay, this is fun to talk about, but I just can’t do it.” It wasn’t that he hadn’t thought about it from every angle and sometimes it just sort of seemed implied that he would, even to him. Sometimes he would think to himself, “Oh, just let it happen. If it does fine and if not? That’s okay, too.” Although that didn’t seem like the thoughts or actions of the trustworthy person she believed him to be. And besides, that was before….no! he wouldn’t let his mind take him there….
Yes, she finally admitted to herself, she’d been thinking about this ever since the summer had started. She knew their parents would be gone. She also knew that they were supposed to stay at the party house overnight, not go back to their cabin. She’d tried to push it to the back of her mind, but the idea that they actually had an opportunity to be alone……it scared her and excited her all at once. She took another sip of her third glass of wine, again, trying to follow the conversation, which had changed to….? She wasn’t sure. Focus, Cassie! She reached for the bowl of cashews on the end table, taking a handful, hoping they would absorb some of the alcohol. She needed the liquid courage, or so she thought, if she was going to convince him that tonight was the night. Yet, she didn’t want too much liquid courage….she wanted to remember this night, not drown its memory.
They’d just polished off an eggs, bacon and toast, after party, middle of the night breakfast and were sitting on the floor, their eyes closed, having run out of things to talk about….and besides they were both just flat-out tired. It had to be at least 2:00 in the morning, but neither wanted to make the effort to go to their respective bedrooms. His on the first floor, hers on the second of the huge A-frame. Cassie opened one eye, taking in his rumpled clothes and messy hair. Still half-drunk, but so cute! Tonight, it had to be tonight!
She wasn’t as drunk as she’d been when they’d left the party or so she believed, but how was she going to do this? Sure, she could just ask him, but she didn’t want to give him the chance to say no…..or come up with the inevitable reasons why it wasn’t a good idea….at least not tonight. He’d say something like, “Cassie, we’re too drunk…and besides, don’t you want a little romance?” And when she’d say no, she didn’t care about romance because they weren’t a romantic couple, he’d probably say something like, “But still, we’re drunk! You don’t want that kind of memory do you?” and then he’d put it off by suggesting other times or places and then one day she’d wake up and there would be no more time or place…..in her mind it literally had to be now because she couldn’t stand the thought of never!
She yawned. And in a quiet voice, hoping it was not loud enough to startle him, but loud enough to awaken him, she said, “There’s no way I’m climbing those stairs, I’ll fall for sure. I’m sleeping here on the couch.” “I could carry you up there,” he murmured, his eyes still closed. She giggled, “Now there’s a great idea! Then, we could both fall!”
“Well, why don’t you sleep in my bed then,” not knowing that she might actually be hoping that that was exactly what would happen. “No, I like this couch. I’ve slept on it dozens of times and it’s comfortable.” “Okay, I’ll sleep on the floor then.” “Now why would you do something like that? What…are you afraid I’ll sneak back to the party? Do you think that I need you to protect me in case some lakeside serial killer is on the loose? Just because it’s a cabin doesn’t mean we’re living in Little House on the Prairie! You do remember we have security alarms for that, right?”
She was right, of course, and he saw no reason to argue with her, not really. And the more he thought about it the more he longed for that bed that had never seemed so welcoming. “Okay then,” he said as he rose from the floor, dusting off his shorts, getting ready to head towards the bedroom. “Oh! Could I borrow one of your T-shirts or something? I don’t want to sleep in this,” she said, his eyes, for the first time that night, actually noticing what she was wearing. A tight red top and a pair of skinny jeans. No, he wouldn’t want to sleep in that either. He headed for the bedroom, rummaging through his closet for an oversized shirt, returning with his contribution to her bedtime wardrobe. As he handed it to her, she laughed, her eyes twinkling. “Really? The cookie monster? I’ve never seen you wear this before.” “And gathering from your response, now you know why!” he replied with a half-smile.
“Okay then, see you in the….I guess it’s already morning. See you later.” He said trying to stifle his yawn. “Good night,” she said, thinking to herself that she hoped she’d see him sooner rather than later….and that he’d welcome her when he did.
She padded her way to the downstairs bathroom, removing her party clothes and slipping on the cookie monster shirt. Although she hadn’t planned to wear any sexy clothes, she’d never pictured it happening while she was wearing a shirt displaying a kids show character. But then, she’d “planned” it in her head for years and knew that although they could indeed plan some of it, a lot was still out of their control….and besides she reminded herself, she was tired of waiting. “I guess this red lace thong will have to do,” she thought.
She startled awake completely surprised that she’d fallen asleep! Trying to orient herself she brushed her chestnut hair out of her eyes and laid back down, feeling a bit of a headache and knowing that she’d probably have a collosal hangover in a few hours. Oh man! What time was it? She glanced around the roomy cabin, unable to find a clock, and besides she’d already taken her contacts out so even if there was one, she probably wouldn’t have been able to tell the time. Again, surveying her surroundings she noted that it was still dark out with no sign of the sun on the horizon. It was still almost pitch-black outside. Snuggling into the couch cushions and drawing the lightweight cover he’d given her up to her shoulders, she tried to think about her next move.
She’d noticed that he’d left his bedroom door open. Well, that was a plus; no squeaky hinges to give her away. And now that this seed of a plan had been planted in her brain, she couldn’t stop it from sprouting. Who knew when the next opportunity would arise for them to be completely alone? She knew she was taking a risk, but wasn’t the whole idea a risk? Isn’t that why they’d been dancing around it for years? She was tired of slow dancing. She rubbed her eyes, took a deep breath or two to calm her nerves, yawned, stretched…..and even though she was completely over the dance, that didn’t mean she was actually ready to step off the dance floor. The new dance, be it a tango, a waltz or whatever was a complete unknown.
Enough! her mind refused to be changed. She whispered a silent prayer begging whomever was in control of this world to make this alright, to make the risk worth every moment. “Please don’t let him say no,” she murmured, and just for good measure she begged a second time, “Pleaassseee.”
She tiptoed toward his bedroom, stopping when she got to the open door. The glow of the bathroom nightlight allowed her to see him laying on the bed, facing towards her. He was so handsome and, as cliche as it sounded, he looked like a sleeping child, moving through dream after dream in a world that she couldn’t see. He’d fall in love with someone someday, she smiled as she leaned against the door jamb, and she hoped whoever ended up winning his heart was worthy of him.
There was that stupid voice nagging at her to rush. “Let’s get this over with and let the chips fall where they may!” But, she tried to reason with the voice, she’d waited this long, and even though so far it was nothing like she’d imagined it, she didn’t just want “to get it over with.” And besides, first she had to get over the hurdle of him saying yes to “now.” Not some other time, next week, next month, next year…or worse, “No, Cassie, I can’t.”
Again, on tiptoes, she made her way to the other side of the bed, almost afraid to breathe. As she dropped to the side of the bed, she halted for a second as she felt the bed move, releasing a sigh when she realized he was just trying to find a more comfortable position. Settling himself once more, she waited for what seemed like interminable minutes. Mentally preparing, then lifting the patchwork comforter and the sheet, she slid her body under the covers, halting again…..waiting to see if he would roll over or move again or whatever, she sighed. She laid quietly, listening to him breathe, taking in his scent….gathering her courage once more, then closing the mere inches between their bodies, finally wrapping her arm around his waist.
Still asleep and unaware of what he was doing, he snuggled into her warmth and reached for her shaking hand, drawing it to his belly. But just before it appeared that he was going to settle back into slumber, he jolted awake, raising his upper body on one elbow and turning to a startled Cassie. The look in his eyes….it was almost like he didn’t know who she was! And then a flash of recognition and….fear?
“Cassie!!!” he sort of hissed, “What are you doing?” “Shhhh!” she sort of giggled, “You don’t have to whisper, we’re the only ones here, remember?” He flopped down on the bed and let out a ragged breath, not saying another word, trying to get his bearings. He opened and closed his eyes a few times, trying to get his anxious thoughts under control. As his body made its attempt to come back to some semblance of normal, he realized he was still holding her hand and would have let it go except it was clasped tightly in hers….and he wanted to find out what was going on first. Maybe she had a nightmare….or perhaps the rain that had started during the night had awakened her. He could hear the steady patter of it hitting the roof…and it would have been almost soothing to him if he wasn’t lying here….like this….god! he thought, all I have on is my underwear! And it wasn’t like she hadn’t seen him in just his underwear before….but now it seemed different, like it wasn’t a perfectly natural thing for her to see anymore.
He cleared his throat, and glanced over at her, not quite ready to look her in the eye, and repeated his original question, “Cassie, what are you doing?” “I don’t want to wait anymore,” she stated so simply and firmly that it took him a moment to figure out what she didn’t want to wait for and why it required her being in his bed. Woah…..what was he going to say…or do? He’d never actually said yes to her, but…..the way they’d talked about “it” over the years, he could see where she might think that he was at the “maybe” stage because he’d never said no either.
There had been a few times when he’d even tried to play matchmaker, hoping she’d find the someone she was really looking for and not just someone she trusted, like him. Someone she was head over heels in love with! He’d introduced her to he couldn’t remember how many new guys at school or those he’d met at any number of places, but he almost got the feeling that she was only feigning interest in the few she actually went on dates with, knowing exactly what he was doing…..and just going out with these guys to appease him. And he knew that she was smart enough to know what he was trying to do, but he’d continued to try nonetheless. And then one day he’d simply given up. He was fully aware of what she wanted and her plans didn’t include falling in love in high school, they never had.
The long silence between them seemed to drag on forever until she said, “I’ve already decided that I’m not going to let this change our friendship….Think of it as a trial run, a sound check, a….” He couldn’t help but laugh, “Really????? A trial run? You do realize that I’m not just a race car or a guitar, right? I’m not just a…whatever….you can use to get to your goal.” “Well, it would be new to you, too! I’m willing to be YOUR race car….YOUR guitar…. “But it’s different for me and you know it……there’s….”
“Yes, I know that…..but no one…” “Cassie, not just a no one….” “Okay, okay…..but aren’t you even a little bit curious?” He’d thought about this many times, and actually he was curious, but was curiosity a valid reason to…..and remember what happened to the cat, he thought. Not that he thought he’d die as a result, but it might kill…..
“Look, I know we talked about this long before….well, you know….and I know you think in the long run it won’t actually be that important to me…..but it feels…”
“But it’s not!” she insisted. “It’s never going to happen again between us…..we’ll remain friends and you’ll go on with your life and……” The “and,” that was the issue. He really didn’t mind the whole idea mostly because he didn’t want her to regret some bad experience in the future….and the first time was hard enough, especially for girls or so he’d been told. At least he could make sure that it was as good experience as possible. He would be gentle and attentive, probably too attentive, concerned that he might hurt her even if he tried not to. And no one but he and Cassie would ever know, right? She’d move forward with her life and he’d do the same. Everyone knew that they were only friends……including…..
She laid quietly beside him, still holding his hand, knowing she had to let him decide for himself. Yes, she wanted him to be her first, but she understood his dilemma. All she could do was hope that her wish would come true.
Again, he closed his eyes, trying to get a clear picture of all the reasons why and why not…..true, he acknowledged, his mind wasn’t as clear as he wished it should be, but he was no longer drunk and neither was she. He didn’t want to do it as a favor necessarily, but that’s the way she honestly seemed to view it. He glanced over at her, reminded of all they’d been through over the years. They had a solid friendship…sure, this seemed like some sort of transaction at times, devoid of the right feelings….but that’s what she wanted. What he wanted was to hopefully spare her a bad first experience in the future.
“Okay, Cassie,” he sighed, but said it with a decisive voice, “but you can’t ever tell anyone….not ever.” “Thank you,” her eyes softened, “and I promise no one will ever know and especially….” “Stop right there,” he said, “I believe you.”
And suddenly they didn’t know what to say….or do…..so, she tried to give what she hoped was an encouraging smile, closed her eyes and leaned in to kiss him. It wasn’t like she’d never kissed anyone…it wasn’t like she’d never been hugged or touched……and it wasn’t like he didn’t have any experience, but his was….ohhh, that feels nice, she thought. He obviously knew how to kiss.
He drew her body closer, caressing her pretty face with his fingers, dotting it with soft butterfly kisses. Working his way back to her tender lips, he took his time, nibbling them like they were his favorite candy. He felt her breath quicken, not having to wait as she responded to his tongue, allowing him to explore, unable to suppress her desire to entangle her tongue with his….this was a dance she’d never grow tired of, she thought to herself. His sensitive hands lingered on her neck and shoulders, slipping under the silly cookie monster T-shirt, touching her breasts, as she released a gasp and then settled into his firm, yet tender touch.
She shivered a little….his hands seemed foreign to her body. As familiar as they were with each other, nothing could have prepared her for the feelings he was eliciting as he lingered under the weight of her breasts, never having touched these most intimate areas……and yet as he broke their kiss and slipped the T-shirt over her head? When he lowered his lips to a single nipple, it somehow seemed completely natural. She reflexively grasped his hair, letting out a moan that was somewhere between a squeak and a long sigh, as he took the time to caress her concave belly with his other hand.
He could feel his cock getting hard as he continued the foreplay, moving back up to her lips, kissing her deeply with just a touch more firmness as he slid his fingers along the outline of her lacy thong, then slipping them underneath, using a single finger to caress her clit, then sliding it into the moistness of her vagina. Leaving his thumb lightly on her clit, he hoped he wasn’t being too rough as he stroked it.
He looked at her face, her eyes closed, appearing blissfully lost, a stranger to what she was feeling……He whispered, “Okay?” “Mmmmm…” was her only reply as she moved against his fingers seeking something she’d never felt before, not sure if she’d find it…..or at least not this time.
I want to touch him, she thought, what does he feel like?, she wondered…..and in response to that thought she turned on her side, reaching for his cock, feeling it beneath the thin cloth of his underwear. He wasn’t completely hard, but she wasn’t exactly sure how he was supposed to feel……and then she felt a hand over hers, guiding it beneath his underwear, helping her to slide them down as he kicked them off, and murmuring, “Let me show you.” Taking her exploring hand and fingers in his own, he folded her hand firmly around his stiffness and began moving her oh-so-feminine hand up and down, sometimes avoiding the head, sometimes slipping over it.
She didn’t know what she expected but now owning the knowledge that she had this kind of power over a man’s pleasure only made her feel more excited. So hard, so warm…and then she felt him using his own hand to caress his balls, knowing that someday she’d know how to do that, too.
He opened his eyes to find hers closed appearing to be completely absorbed in what she was doing with him….to him. And he smiled to himself…good! that was what he was hoping for. He closed his eyes again, nibbling on her lips, then murmuring against them….”are you ready?” “Mmmmmm….” was all she managed.
Reaching for the thong, together they removed it somewhat awkwardly….and then he pulled her flat against his body, letting her feel the freedom of total nakedness between them and, again, taking her hand, he showed her how to totally explore his body, revealing places she’d never once thought of as erogenous. “My turn,” he murmured with a smile in his voice, as he used his hands to tell her a silent story of her own body, like a mystery novel….except she didn’t ever want to get to the ending.
She willingly let him guide one of her hands to her crotch, replicating what he had done earlier, knowing this probably wasn’t new to her…but it could be so hot…..and then she gripped his ass, involuntarily digging her long fingernails into the tender flesh. “Now….” she rasped, “please….now…”
Rolling her onto her back, he raised himself on his arms just far enough so that he could rub his cock across her belly while her hips moved up and down unable to control herself. Moving his hard cock against her pubic bone, he grasped her hand one last time, silently asking her to be his guide……it wasn’t that he didn’t know, but….she knew what and why he was asking….to protect her….so like him to put her needs above his own. He didn’t know what to expect but as far as he was concerned this wasn’t about him. As he moved further and further inside her, his cock was engulfed in the wet and warm flesh. “Okay?” he whispered again, which may have sounded silly, but he’d read enough to know that it might be painful for her. A breathy “Yeahhhh…” was all she could manage.
She didn’t know what to expect either, but it didn’t feel bad or even that painful….not yet anyway. Feeling him inside of her and knowing how careful he was being only made her more grateful that she’d chosen him to be her first. He knew what he was doing, despite….well, that didn’t matter, at least not to her. She could tell he was nearing a climax, although she didn’t feel anything different than what she’d been feeling all night. It felt very, very good and sensual…..very intimate, she guessed.
He slowly lowered his body on top of hers and rested his head in the hollow of her neck, kissing it softly. She turned her head and buried her face in his hair, kissing his scalp. “Thank you,” was all she could think to say. They laid that way for a time until his breathing became even and then he slowly rolled over onto his side and she rolled onto hers, facing him.
For whatever reason, neither wanted to interrupt the peace that surrounded them. The rain was still falling, beating a rhythm on the roof. These moments were precious to her, he knew. And she seemed content in the quiet. Somehow they knew “I love you” was not an appropriate thing to say, even though they did love each other. That kind of “I love you” should wait for the one in this big wide world that waited for each of them somewhere. Instead, they kept their silence and fell asleep holding hands, yet touching on some unseen level as well. No regrets.
