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CREATIVE CHALLENGE

Prompt: The “other guy”

Let’s talk about Adam and Elliot. How do you think the relationship Kurt had with Adam and friendship Kurt had with Elliot may have affected the relationship between Kurt and Blaine? What do you think would have happened if any confrontations happened between these men either before, after or during the breakups and reunions that happened between Blaine and Kurt in the show?

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Adam glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand, not having to wonder what Kurt was cooking up in the kitchen. The smell was heavenly and he was hoping that Kurt would want to have breakfast in bed.

They’d been together for about six months or so and Kurt almost always stayed at his place on Friday night, but Adam still couldn’t shake the feeling that someone else was always sharing the space of his apartment and his bed with Kurt.

At first he’d thought it was because Kurt was still on the rebound. Adam had gone into this relationship with what he thought was eyes wide open, but hoping that with a little more time he’d get past it…..get past him. Kurt had been very open and honest about Blaine, at first anyway. He hadn’t been just his first love. He’d been Kurt’s first everything. He’d explained very matter-of-factly that Blaine had been his best friend as well. Oh, people often said that about their partners, but Kurt really meant it, which made it doubly difficult to get over him.

And that was the real problem. Much as Kurt protested that he was, in fact, over Blaine and ready for a new relationship with Adam, Adam wasn’t convinced. Before they’d met, at least according to Kurt, they’d maintained some contact – on holidays, texting, maybe even seeing him when he went home for visits to Lima. But he’d assured Adam that once he’d met him he’d ended all of that and rarely spoke of that decision. But just because a person wasn’t visible or on the other end of a phone call or text didn’t mean that he wasn’t still in Kurt’s heart or mind and he knew it.

He loved the way Kurt was such a considerate lover. Sometimes he’d say, “Adam, I know I haven’t told you I love you yet, but those words are just too important. Look, I know you think I’m still not over Blaine, that I’m still in love with him, but I’m not! Please believe that.” But he was so adamant, it was as if he was trying to convince himself more than Adam. Adam would simply nod his head, wrap his arms around Kurt and hold him close, hoping that someday he might even believe it.

He longed to hear those precious words, but not if they weren’t absolutely true. Kurt was right in that respect, they were far too important. He sighed and rolled onto his side just as Kurt walked through the door, both trays on one arm, carefully placing one tray on the desk, then the other. He claimed he’d learned that trick working as a waiter, but it still always managed to get a laugh from Adam.

His burden laid down, he sat down on the bed and leaned over to give Adam a good morning kiss. Adam was so steady, so solid, without being boring. They had a lot in common besides their participation in Adam’s theatre group, Adam’s Apples. They loved movies and on the weekends made New York their own personal playground, searching for anything free to enjoy, some of the museums, music festivals, concerts in the park.

After handing Adam his tray, he took his own and arranged himself on the bed beside him, taking one of his hands and squeezing it. “I really love spending time here. It’s so quiet….no roommates watching TV or playing their music too loud. No one interrupting what you’re doing.” Adam contemplated the words, trying not to jump to the ultimate conclusion they always invoked. It wasn’t the first time Kurt had said that. Was he hinting? Was he just making an obvious observation? Adam had always backed away from those words, so tempting, but…. He was afraid that if he brought up the topic of Kurt’s moving in, he’d end up disappointed and possibly putting up a road block in their already tenuous relations. That’s exactly how Adam felt most of the time. Like Kurt had one foot planted in Adam’s apartment and the other outside the door, his back pack in the hall ready to leave.

“Go on, Adam, eat those eggs before they get cold,” Kurt coaxed. Returning to the present, Adam took a bite of the scrambled eggs, took a deep breath, and decided it was now or never. “Kurt, you’ve said that I don’t know how many times….so why don’t you just move in?”

Kurt stopped chewing his toast and took a sip of orange juice. He wanted to say yes so badly! And he knew he’d expressed his love of the time he spent at Adam’s often enough that Adam would logically conclude that he would want to move in. Yet, something always held him back. The semi-permanence of living together was another step into a future with Adam and a huge step in putting Blaine in the past where he belonged.

Was he still in love with Blaine? Was he still actually hoping for a future with him? He didn’t know. Blaine was living with Dave Karofsky of all people. If that wasn’t a sign of moving on, nothing else was!

“Adam, don’t think the thought hasn’t crossed my mind….like a million times or so. I love being with you, around you. I love the way we seem to fit together. You’re almost always available to talk….and maybe more importantly listen. You seem to know the difference between making love and having sex….and I love both, by the way….”

“And I sense a but,” Adam said, not taking his eyes off of Kurt. “Kurt, I’ll be blunt although it’s killing me to ask this, but it needs to be said. Are you still in love with Blaine? And more to the point, if you had a choice between laying here next to me or waking up to Blaine, what would you choose? You need to answer those questions for yourself before we even take living together seriously.”

“And you’re not ready to hear this either, but it’s time for me to say it. I love you! I feel complete when I’m with you…but Blaine?” he stopped, unsure of what to say next and then blurted, “Kurt, I can’t compete with a fantasy.”

Kurt nodded slowly, acknowledging what Adam said to be true and then raised his eyes with a steady gaze. “Adam, you’re right, and even though it may not seem like it, I have been thinking about those things….for six months I’ve been thinking about those things. I hope that tells you that I take our relationship seriously.”

He stopped, trying to gather his thoughts while Adam fought with himself not to interrupt. “What I feel for you…..what I…..well, it gets stronger every single day. I’ll admit that in the beginning I was probably using you to help me forget about….him…um, about Blaine. But, I really did like you then. I wanted to be able to say I love you, but everything was still too….raw.”

He glanced down at his hands and gently placed one of them on Adam’s cheek. “I know I’m not saying this very well. What I’m trying to say is I’m not looking for a replacement for Blaine. I wasn’t then and I’m not now, but….I’ve never asked, what was your first love like?”

Adam gulped. He’d been waiting for Kurt to ask this question, and still wasn’t prepared for it, “Kurt, you ARE my first love. Yeah, you know I’ve had relationships before but nothing like this.”

“Oh,” was all that Kurt could manage. A little flustered he tried to continue his train of thought. “I don’t want to feel for anyone else what I felt for Blaine,” he said, emphasizing the word felt. How did he say this without making it sound like Adam was some sort of consolation prize?

“It took me ages to tell Blaine that I loved him. Those words mean so much and they can never be taken back. Here’s what I love about you, Adam, about us. I feel happy and comfortable with you, but not like an old shoe or something. More like a breath of fresh air, I guess. And when we make love? I’m…..how do I put this? I’m at ease, I guess. I’m not always wondering if it was good enough or feel like I have to constantly be thinking of new ways to please you and vice versa. I’m not saying we’re boring. I guess what I’m saying is I’m not always focused on the performance. I’m focused on just showing you how I feel. And, most of the time you’re a very attentive lover.”

“Most of the time?” Adam sort of chuckled. “Well, no one’s perfect….except for me, of course,” Kurt replied, breaking the tension a little.

“And after the way Blaine and I….ended. I can’t go through that again. You make me feel like I can depend on you, Adam. Blaine and I were so young and immature….” Adam thought to himself, like 23 is old and wise? But he didn’t say it.

“And no…..I don’t want to wake up next to Blaine or fall asleep next to him and I’m not still in love with him, but there is a part of me that will always love him. I doubt that will ever change, but I don’t want it…I can’t let it interfere with us.”

“If you can deal with all of that until I’m ready to say I love you then my answer is, yes, I’d love to move in with you. I’d love to wake up to you every morning and fall asleep with you every night. I’d love breakfast in bed and making love to you in the middle of the night or day or morning. I’m ready for that, but…..”

Adam took the hand caressing his cheek, kissed it and placed them both on the comforter beside them. “I think I want to try it. I mean, if it doesn’t work out it will break my heart, but you’ve always been honest with me. And I do understand what you’re saying. Now, the big question is do we eat this breakfast cold or do we have that morning sex you were talking about and then go over to the Broken Egg to celebrate our new upcoming living arrangement?”

Kurt laughed, moved his tray to the floor, reached for Adam’s and did the same. Playfully pushing Adam back onto the messy blankets, he kissed him without closing his eyes, wanting him to see that he not only meant the kiss, but hoped that his answer was yes to his next question. “Is this answer enough for you?”